E.Q versus I.Q

I am currently reading a book by Daniel Goleman titled ' Emotional Intelligence and working with Emotional Intelligence' which I picked up on my regular trip to the local Crossword stores. In hindsight I must say it was a good pick going by the few chapters that I have been able to read through... Few pages inside and I am totally hooked...

This book has a unique approach to it all and varies a lot from run of the mill books of this genre which tries to utilise mere motivational techinques in underlying the value of EQ over IQ... But this book is all different in its approach as it goes on to explain the scientific credibility of such a 'qualitative' aspect of human behaviour and attitude as EQ...

Till date, the book goes on to argue, much emphasis was given to the Intelligence level of a person (which is again measured by the well founded and proved IQ score) and people generally scoring high on the IQ scale found favour among job givers.. However, it was seen, and no wonder all of us have also seen it happen, that the most intelligent people are not the most capable or for that matter the one with qualities required to be able to work in a team and make things happen... hence to the frustration of top management these so called bright people floundered in their jobs while relatively 'mediocre' people excelled in being able to achieve success through mere Patience, hard work and team building effort... The author underlined the abilities of these people in having more of EQ than IQ which helped them survive tough situation and circumstances and come out right on top...

The author goes on to cite studies and real life incidence on how if a person is low on EQ, simple circumstances can hijack the advantage from his/her side... It goes on to explain that through evolution the development of the brain has been a 'bottom up' process i.e the spinal cord first developed, then the base of the brain and then the body of the brain and so on... primitive brain in lower animals down the phylum in the animal kingdom has shown much of the sensory and motor function being done by the spinal cord and a very primitive brain.. The author argues, based on scientific evidence, that the lower part or the base of our brain resembles close to that found in these group of animals... and rightly so, as the brain stem is, as we were taught in the med school, called medulla oblongota which was kown as the 'love centre' of the brain which processed emotional responses in man.. as these centres, like in lower animals, are attuned to either fight or take flight, on any sudden confrontation or situation, the first thing they do is to put up a fight or flee the situation.. this even before the rational brain (the centre of which is situated in the main body of the brain) has time to rationalise and take an appropriate response.. later when the person realises his/her response triggered by the 'love centre', it is too late to make amends...

It may have sounded a bit jargon ridden in the previous paragraph, but simply put it means that any response to man is first scanned by a centre which takes impulsive and irrational decision which if given some time will be processed through the rational centre and result in a more proper response...

The book also says that sometimes people find themselves in fits of anger in a given situation, where their previous experience combined with the immediacy for action, sends an emergency signal to the rational brain to stop all rationalisation and summon all energy to tackle the impending 'obstacle/danger' in hand.. at those time the rational centre in the brain also loses the ability to 'rationalise' as a state of 'emergency' has already been declared and it is 'forced' to sign up...

It is such an absorbing read that even after 9 hrs of office and 1 hr of working out at the gym, I still take some time out to read it every night...

Will keep you updated about the battle between the E.Q and I.Q... :-)

Scent of the Musk deer

I was gone home on a looooong holiday for a week.... (I know you must be laughing your head off on hearing 7 days as a loooooong holiday)... But that, alas, my friend is a reality for me as I had completely exhausted my leaves what with shuttling back and forth Bhubaneswar during the monsoon....

However, this one week was revealing to me in more ways than one... I got to do everything that i wanted to do (a la Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday).... The very 1st day I got to eat my favourite Alloo dum and dahibara - a local favourite... I got to visit old places of my childhood, slept like a log and just chilled out...

I also visited the local zoo (Nandankanan zoo) after long time... I think it was after my intermediate that I visited the zoo... my Bhanjas were agog and gaping away happily at anything that moved and was not human...

My week long break was also memorable coz I had not seen as much cartoon network and Tom and Jerry show in my entire life as my Bhanjas made us to see... I think I have seen enough to last even my kids for a life time ;)

But the most memorable thing that I will remember and cherish in my heart is the 'introduction' to a person whom I thought I knew all along but whose special character I was not able to know or able to appreciate it even till date...

He happened to be a relative of ours ( I have stopped keeping track of the lengthy spidery web of relations which binds me to infitesimal people and hence prefer to address others with the suffix Bhai, uncle, aunty etc)...

So you must be curious how I came to be 'introduced' to this Bhai of mine... It so transpired that his elder brother is married to my wife's cousin... The couple had invited us for dinner to their house.. Since their's is a joint family and all the brothers stay together, I had the chance to meet this charismatic person...

He is the youngest of all the brothers and at 45 he is still unmarried... He looks thin and sickly and has always been so due to a debilitiating asthmatic condition... I had known him to be a cheerful and jovial character who would give us children sweet and tell us all sorts of story... I also remember him for being the ever helping hand in case of any need and help...

What I did not know about him was about to be revealed to me that night...

We reached their house at about 8 in the evening and settled down to a nice conversation with the family... He usually used to be out of the house on work on ordinary days but made it a point to hang around that day so that he can meet the new Daamat ( Son in law) i.e read me ;)

Slowly slowly as I engaged with a lively discussion with him, out came the treasures of his life time... The cherished booty that he had created over the years... from the broken drawers, in the dilapidated cupboard and from the dirty cellars.. came out marching fine uniquely shaped bottles which looked like female heel shoes, baseball bat, snake, vultures etc etc... And with each of them there was a story attached.. A story of their life and a story which has been untold to the world...

As I was thinking that the collection has come to an end, out marched a note book inside which there were currency note of India from time immemorial with a pouch which had coins of historic value... all of it has been painstakingly collected by the collector from numerous sources - relatives, friends, shops, local flee market...

He also showed a rare collection of wrist watches and rare antique watch pieces some of which were pure gold...

All this he has collected all across the country, from people known and unknown to him...

When he was showing us the collection I could see the excitement in his eye... In that moment it seems that life has come to a stand still for him... As if this was the only thing that he was meant to do.. and that this is the only thing which has kept him goin in life..

He also showed photographs of him through the years on new year days when he dressed up as a fakir, or a doctor or a priest of various religion with just one message written all over his clothes and caps - glorifying the unity we have in diversity, preaching tolerance and coexistence and foremost the value of 'Humanity First' that he preaches to the world... He also makes it a point to donate blood on this day and encourages his friends to do so...

I looked at the person in awe and admiration... here is a person who has not had the best in life... but somehow his spirit is indomitable and he's attitude is so full of Sunshine... braving all the odds to collect all 'tinkers and junks' that he does with passion for which there are no takers and also which do not have a proper place to store.. showing humanity what it is to unconditionally love and have compassion for your fellow human being...

In childhood I used to hear the story of the musk deer and how it used to give out scent from its own body... All the other deer, including the musk deer itself will run all around the jungle in search of that scent unable to locate it...

As i left that night being 'introduced' to my ' musk deer', I felt an untold joy and happiness of having met a person who brought so much meaning to an ordinary life and immense joys to people around him...

My search for the scent has now ended having found my Musk Deer - at least for now....