My Fellow Traveller

Continuing the tale of humorous incident and anecdote in my life, I am reminded of a hilarious encounter which I had in the very 1st year of my job... It was the year 2006 and I had come home to attend to some domestic work for few days.... I had booked the return journey to Chennai by the Coramondel Express... 

I boarded the train at my home town of Cuttack... While traveling by train, it has always been my habit of booking the upper berth as it helps me to sleep all the way and  also is of little interference to families traveling in the same compartment who require a bit of more space than singleton like us...As I had just joined job newly and was short on leave, I had planned my schedule ahead which looked no short of the blueprint of a war strategy... All my activity which I had to carry out back at home were listed down with timeline for completing them... So much so that I had few works scheduled which I had to address on the way to the station ! 

As a result you can imagine the state in which I reached the railway station... I was worn out, dog tired and ready to fall down asleep at the sight of the 1st closest place for sleeping... I bid my younger brother adieu at the station and headed straight for my seat... It was a relief for me as I could get a seat in the 2nd A/C Compartment despite last minute booking... The A/C was on full blast and the temeprature (though it was freezing inside) was of the right degree to me given my state of tiredness... I threw my bag on the upper berth, hastily climbed up, fell on the seat and immediately  was fast asleep...

A jerk in the train woke me up.. The train had reached the Bhubaneswar station and some passengers were getting in for the onward journey... I saw a fairly tall, dark and well built man making his way to our section... He gave me a broad grin and immediately I knew that it would be a good journey given the friendliness of my fellow traveller...

The gentleman got talking and from his conversation I came to know that he is a black belt (of the highest category) in karate and is a popular fight master in the Southern film industry... He had come on a short assignment to direct fight sequence in some Oriya movie... He narrated how he was made to slog day and night (for the last 3 days) to complete the fight sequence of some new movie... This may be due to the hefty amount he charged for his trade and Oriya film industry being not so affluent industry wanted to get all work done at one go... He looked completely exhausted and ready to drop down for sleep as much or more than I did...

However, his sleep was short lived as there was some confusion and commotion with some passenger who claimed the seat to be his seat... Both of them were arguing ferociously and in the end went to meet the Ticket collector to settle the matter... I could not bear to keep awake to see the conclusion of the fight (my eyes were already heavy with sleep) and hence I went to sleep... It was almost late evening by that time...Although I had a slight cold, I did not take the blanket due to heaviness of the sleep...

I floated to another world in my sleep and saw myriad of strange images, tale and story (as happens when one is totally worn out and tired) which I could not really comprehend.... Suddenly I heard a thud and sensation of somebody shaking me wildly....

I opened my eyes with difficulty and what I saw in front of me was a incredible sight...

The tough man was standing with his arms in akimbo form in front of me, staring at me with bloodshot eyes and talking loudly...

"What is the matter" I asked dazed and bleary eyed barely able to open my eyes to the broad morning daylight around me..

"Ah... 'whats the matter' the laat sahib asks me" he almost shouted down at me... "the matter is, my most honourable master, is that I have not been able to take even one miserable wink the whole of last night" He was furious and it seemed that he will hit somebody as a logical conclusion to his fury

"But what could I do if you did not sleep... am I to blame" I said innocently

"Blame... no.. no... no... no blame.... you are to be given Bharat Ratna award for your feat" He said sarcastically

"Sir" I said, now irritated and angry... " Would you tell me what is the matter and why did you wake me up so rudely"...

"Now the great Nawab Saheb wants to know why I woke up His Highness" His voice sounded more frustrated than sarcastic

"Come on... I will tell you" He said almost menacingly and threateningly... " It is the thunderous sound of your highness' snoring which prevented this humble servant from having any sleep last night..." He said with a disgust and contempt in his voice which was unparalleled..

"I am really sorry... I had a cold yesterday and also due to the freezing coldness in the compartment I may have snored a bit " I said genuinely apologetic of something on which I had no control

"SNORED A BIT" He thundered down upon me... now Sir says that he snored a bit" He was now getting ready to pulverise me, or so I thought.... " Each snoring was like the blast of canon as that of the late Nizam of Hyderabad from the Golconda fort... and no sir (now he was referring to all others wide eyed passengers around him) it was not like it came at all the time... It came in heavy installments... Sir will unleash his canon on me and when I thought that the worse was over and try to get some sleep, it will come thundering down to wake me once and for all".... He said in a frustrating tone. ... " The whole night yesterday I was trying to get some sleep.. what with all the hard work that I had to do and then the seat dispute.. finally when I thought that I was about to get some sleep.. along came Sir... gentleman and all by his look... bulldozing my entire night's sleep with his royal snoring.."

I was really getting embarrassed and tried apologising but he would  have none of it.. Thats when his cellphone rang and he just kept on saying 'yes' yes' in to the phone... He hung up the phone and said almost like a tragedy character right out of the Greek myhtlogy " Now thats what you all call luck... after Sir here succeeded in spoiling my sleep, my producer at Hyderabad calls me up to tell me that we have a day long shooting for the fight sequence which will take most part of night too.. I tried to reason with him and get today off... But he will have none of it and threatened to replace me with some new comer..." He said almost at the verge of tear... 

"Thank you Sir.. Thank you very much for all you did" He said as Hyderabad station neared.. and he went in to his own old histrionics and lamentation.. This was becoming too much for me... so I just turned and faced my back to him as he went on for another 10 mins till his station came... 

That day I realised what a bad cold and choked up respiratory pasage can do and unwittingly make you the possessor of the deadliest WM(S)D (not Weapon of Mass Destruction) but What My Snoring can Do(? To You) ...   ;)

Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman !

My pre matriculate period was marked by frequent change of school and I got a chance to study in  both English and local vernacular medium schools which has left a trail of happy memories with me...

One of the memorable incident happened when I had come back from The Gambia, West Africa and joined 9th Standard in a local English Medium School in Cuttack..

We had a great English teacher who was a retired person from a reputed English medium school. This gentleman was in to his late 70s but still came to teach us due to his passion and interest in teaching... He introduced us to the realm of serious English literature while he taught us Shakespeare, poem by famous poets and short stories ( all part of our board exam curriculum) with such skills and expertise that we would eagerly look forward to his class each day. His theatrical expression, ability to connect with the students, knowledge of the subject made him a dear teacher to everybody...

Once he was teaching us the famous poem "She Walks in Beauty" by P.B Shelly where the poet goes on to describe the beauty of a female face though flowery comparison and similes...

Pre-lunch he started the poem but by lunch time was only half way through it (what with his detailed explanation of each words of the poem and its real and poetic meaning). He promised to finish the session with his usual question and answer session for the students at the end of the poem...

One of my dear friend by the name Raju had special tiffin that day during lunch as his mother had prepared special food for him as it was his sister's birthday. The lunch consisted of  special preparation (from home) of rice, sambar, chutney with rice cake... Being a food lover he could not resist and had a bellyful of the same without sharing any of it with us. We were surprised as usually Raju was a very jovial guy and shared most of his tiffin with us which we also reciprocated.. But no Sir ! today was different as we watched helplessly Raju devouring the entire stuff in glee...

Post lunch, as is the common experience world wide, is a drowsy affair to say the least... God may have mercy on the teacher who has a post lunch class as you would require more than study matter to keep the students awake (what else could keep them awake... Now that I have awakened your imagination, happy hunting...) Anyways coming back to the main point, that afternoon session, to my memory, was the drowsiest of all the classes that I can remember... Sir was at his lowest spirit due to the heavy lunch and somehow managed to complete the poem... By that time most of the people were already dozing asleep and/or dozing...

Sir started his usual question answer session and Raju by that time has started his afternoon slumber somewhere near the back seat with strict instruction (as usual) for us to wake him up if there was an emergency.. But peeved like we were in his non cooperation in sharing that tasty heavenly food, we decided to make it an exception that day..

Before I come to the last part of the story I must tell you that Raju was one of the favourite of Sir in the class...

In the flow of the session. Sir innocently directed a question at Raju being unable to see Raju clearly due to his (Sir's) failing eye sight; ( he also was considered very Innocent by Sir) thus:

"Beta Raju, now tell me what are the dark features (meaning hair) on a woman's face" Raju , busy in his slumber, did not respond to him and as he (Sir) was repeating it for the 2nd time someone from the fairer sex in the class nudged him ( as is the wont of the fairer sex to be always fair.. ;) no pun intended)...

He suddenly awoke with a start, barely heard the questions and started answering the question assuming the face in question to be his face ( you know how stupid we can become when we suddenly start from the sleep and try to act immediately.. get the picture.. right...)

So read on the fun part for rest of the conversation:

"Hair" Said Raju

"Good" Said Sir

"Eyebrow" Said Raju

"Very Good" Said Sir

"Eye Lashes" Said Raju

"Excellent" Said Sir

"Moustache" Said Raju

Sir was dumbstruck... It was as if a lightning has stuck him.. and that too from his favourite student..

The whole class was laughing uproariously by now... Thats when  when came the final parting shot....

"Beard - which can be partial in case of french beard or full as in beard kept by sadhus" Said Raju showing off his prowess in the way he can go to details in depth...

All of us were laughing holding our bellies and ready to roll on the floor and die laughing...

Sir's face was a face seen to believed... He was livid with rage and started trembling (showing his pale false teeth which was fitting poorly)... In a fit of anger he left our class vowing never to return again...

A few days later we heard Raju has also gone missing and his parent discovered him at some Ashram in West Bengal where he had taken diksha to become a sage... Though he came back (with the "beard" and all) but again we heard he ran off vowing never to return.. Nor did Sir....