E.Q versus I.Q

I am currently reading a book by Daniel Goleman titled ' Emotional Intelligence and working with Emotional Intelligence' which I picked up on my regular trip to the local Crossword stores. In hindsight I must say it was a good pick going by the few chapters that I have been able to read through... Few pages inside and I am totally hooked...

This book has a unique approach to it all and varies a lot from run of the mill books of this genre which tries to utilise mere motivational techinques in underlying the value of EQ over IQ... But this book is all different in its approach as it goes on to explain the scientific credibility of such a 'qualitative' aspect of human behaviour and attitude as EQ...

Till date, the book goes on to argue, much emphasis was given to the Intelligence level of a person (which is again measured by the well founded and proved IQ score) and people generally scoring high on the IQ scale found favour among job givers.. However, it was seen, and no wonder all of us have also seen it happen, that the most intelligent people are not the most capable or for that matter the one with qualities required to be able to work in a team and make things happen... hence to the frustration of top management these so called bright people floundered in their jobs while relatively 'mediocre' people excelled in being able to achieve success through mere Patience, hard work and team building effort... The author underlined the abilities of these people in having more of EQ than IQ which helped them survive tough situation and circumstances and come out right on top...

The author goes on to cite studies and real life incidence on how if a person is low on EQ, simple circumstances can hijack the advantage from his/her side... It goes on to explain that through evolution the development of the brain has been a 'bottom up' process i.e the spinal cord first developed, then the base of the brain and then the body of the brain and so on... primitive brain in lower animals down the phylum in the animal kingdom has shown much of the sensory and motor function being done by the spinal cord and a very primitive brain.. The author argues, based on scientific evidence, that the lower part or the base of our brain resembles close to that found in these group of animals... and rightly so, as the brain stem is, as we were taught in the med school, called medulla oblongota which was kown as the 'love centre' of the brain which processed emotional responses in man.. as these centres, like in lower animals, are attuned to either fight or take flight, on any sudden confrontation or situation, the first thing they do is to put up a fight or flee the situation.. this even before the rational brain (the centre of which is situated in the main body of the brain) has time to rationalise and take an appropriate response.. later when the person realises his/her response triggered by the 'love centre', it is too late to make amends...

It may have sounded a bit jargon ridden in the previous paragraph, but simply put it means that any response to man is first scanned by a centre which takes impulsive and irrational decision which if given some time will be processed through the rational centre and result in a more proper response...

The book also says that sometimes people find themselves in fits of anger in a given situation, where their previous experience combined with the immediacy for action, sends an emergency signal to the rational brain to stop all rationalisation and summon all energy to tackle the impending 'obstacle/danger' in hand.. at those time the rational centre in the brain also loses the ability to 'rationalise' as a state of 'emergency' has already been declared and it is 'forced' to sign up...

It is such an absorbing read that even after 9 hrs of office and 1 hr of working out at the gym, I still take some time out to read it every night...

Will keep you updated about the battle between the E.Q and I.Q... :-)

Scent of the Musk deer

I was gone home on a looooong holiday for a week.... (I know you must be laughing your head off on hearing 7 days as a loooooong holiday)... But that, alas, my friend is a reality for me as I had completely exhausted my leaves what with shuttling back and forth Bhubaneswar during the monsoon....

However, this one week was revealing to me in more ways than one... I got to do everything that i wanted to do (a la Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday).... The very 1st day I got to eat my favourite Alloo dum and dahibara - a local favourite... I got to visit old places of my childhood, slept like a log and just chilled out...

I also visited the local zoo (Nandankanan zoo) after long time... I think it was after my intermediate that I visited the zoo... my Bhanjas were agog and gaping away happily at anything that moved and was not human...

My week long break was also memorable coz I had not seen as much cartoon network and Tom and Jerry show in my entire life as my Bhanjas made us to see... I think I have seen enough to last even my kids for a life time ;)

But the most memorable thing that I will remember and cherish in my heart is the 'introduction' to a person whom I thought I knew all along but whose special character I was not able to know or able to appreciate it even till date...

He happened to be a relative of ours ( I have stopped keeping track of the lengthy spidery web of relations which binds me to infitesimal people and hence prefer to address others with the suffix Bhai, uncle, aunty etc)...

So you must be curious how I came to be 'introduced' to this Bhai of mine... It so transpired that his elder brother is married to my wife's cousin... The couple had invited us for dinner to their house.. Since their's is a joint family and all the brothers stay together, I had the chance to meet this charismatic person...

He is the youngest of all the brothers and at 45 he is still unmarried... He looks thin and sickly and has always been so due to a debilitiating asthmatic condition... I had known him to be a cheerful and jovial character who would give us children sweet and tell us all sorts of story... I also remember him for being the ever helping hand in case of any need and help...

What I did not know about him was about to be revealed to me that night...

We reached their house at about 8 in the evening and settled down to a nice conversation with the family... He usually used to be out of the house on work on ordinary days but made it a point to hang around that day so that he can meet the new Daamat ( Son in law) i.e read me ;)

Slowly slowly as I engaged with a lively discussion with him, out came the treasures of his life time... The cherished booty that he had created over the years... from the broken drawers, in the dilapidated cupboard and from the dirty cellars.. came out marching fine uniquely shaped bottles which looked like female heel shoes, baseball bat, snake, vultures etc etc... And with each of them there was a story attached.. A story of their life and a story which has been untold to the world...

As I was thinking that the collection has come to an end, out marched a note book inside which there were currency note of India from time immemorial with a pouch which had coins of historic value... all of it has been painstakingly collected by the collector from numerous sources - relatives, friends, shops, local flee market...

He also showed a rare collection of wrist watches and rare antique watch pieces some of which were pure gold...

All this he has collected all across the country, from people known and unknown to him...

When he was showing us the collection I could see the excitement in his eye... In that moment it seems that life has come to a stand still for him... As if this was the only thing that he was meant to do.. and that this is the only thing which has kept him goin in life..

He also showed photographs of him through the years on new year days when he dressed up as a fakir, or a doctor or a priest of various religion with just one message written all over his clothes and caps - glorifying the unity we have in diversity, preaching tolerance and coexistence and foremost the value of 'Humanity First' that he preaches to the world... He also makes it a point to donate blood on this day and encourages his friends to do so...

I looked at the person in awe and admiration... here is a person who has not had the best in life... but somehow his spirit is indomitable and he's attitude is so full of Sunshine... braving all the odds to collect all 'tinkers and junks' that he does with passion for which there are no takers and also which do not have a proper place to store.. showing humanity what it is to unconditionally love and have compassion for your fellow human being...

In childhood I used to hear the story of the musk deer and how it used to give out scent from its own body... All the other deer, including the musk deer itself will run all around the jungle in search of that scent unable to locate it...

As i left that night being 'introduced' to my ' musk deer', I felt an untold joy and happiness of having met a person who brought so much meaning to an ordinary life and immense joys to people around him...

My search for the scent has now ended having found my Musk Deer - at least for now....

The Way of the Bow

I was thrilled today to find out that Paulo Coelho is sharing some of his best creations on the web ! All for free for his readers and those interesed to read it... What a way to reach out to the masses and soothe their spirit with his balmy writings... I have just started reading the book "The Way of the Bow" and am compelled to share with all of you the following section...

The dialogue is between a master archer and his disciple on the early advice of the former to the later about the art of archery... The dialogue, as in all other Paulo's writing is more symbolical than real.. yet something which can be identified by anybody anywhere...

"The archer who does not share with others the joy of the bow and the arrow will never know his own qualities and defects.

Therefore, before you begin anything, seek out your allies, people who are interested in what you are doing. I'm not saying 'seek out other archers'. I'm saying: find people with other skills, because the way of the bow is no different from any other path that is followed with enthusiasm.

Your allies will not necessarily be the kind of dazzling people to whom everyone looks up and of whom they say: 'There's none better.' On the contrary, they are people who are not afraid of making mistakes and who do, therefore, make mistakes, which is why their work often goes unrecognised. Yet they are just the kind of people who transform the world and, after many mistakes, manage to do something that can make a real difference in their community.

They are people who can't bear to sit around waiting for things to happen in order to decide which attitude to adopt; they decide as they act, well aware that this could prove highly dangerous. Living with such people is important for an archer because he needs to realise that before he faces the target, he must first feel free enough to change direction as he brings the bow up to his chest. When he opens his hand and releases the string, he should say to himself: 'As I was drawing the bow, I travelled a long road. Now I release this arrow knowing that I took the necessary risks and gave of my best.'

The best allies are those who do not think like everyone else. That is why when you seek companions with whom you can share your enthusiasm for archery, trust your intuition and pay no attention to what anyone else may say. People always judge others by taking as a model their own limitations, and other people's opinions are often full of prejudice and fear.

Join with all those who experiment, take risks, fall, get hurt and then take more risks. Stay away from those who affirm truths, who criticise those who do not think like them, people who have never once taken a step unless they were sure they would be respected for doing so, and who prefer certainties to doubts.

Join with those who are open and not afraid to be vulnerable: they understand that people can only improve once they start looking at what their fellows are doing, not in order to judge them, but to admire them for their dedication and courage. You might think that archery would be of no interest to, say, a baker or a farmer, but I can assure you that they will introduce whatever they see into what they do. You will do the same: you will learn from the good baker how to use your hands and how to get the right mix of ingredients. You will learn from the farmer to have patience, to work hard, to respect the seasons and not to curse the storms, because it would be a waste of time.

Join with those who are as flexible as the wood of your bow and who understand the signs along the way. They are people who do not hesitate to change direction when they encounter some insuperable barrier, or when they see a better opportunity. They have the qualities of water: flowing around rocks, adapting to the course of the river, sometimes forming into a lake until the hollow fills to overflowing, and they can continue on their way, because water never forgets that the sea is its destiny and that sooner or later it must be reached. Join with those who have never said: 'Right, that's it, I'm going no further,' because as sure as spring follows winter, nothing ever ends; after achieving your objective, you must start again, always using everything you have learned on the way.

Join with those who sing, tell stories, take pleasure in life, and have joy in their eyes, because joy is contagious and can prevent others from becoming paralysed by depression, loneliness and difficulties. Join with those who do their work with enthusiasm, and because you could be as useful to them as they are to you, try to understand their tools too and how their skills could be improved.

The time has come, therefore, to meet your bow, your arrow, your target and your way."

Vande Mataram

Recently the fatwa (or a decree as it is called) issued by a body of 'Muslim' clergy making it somehow mandatory for the Muslims not to recite Vande Mataram has evoked mixed responses from all across.

Religious clerics as like politicians (the line gets blurred here as both these clans have so much in common irrespective of the group they belong to) love to brew such heady concoction which will ultimately lead to a national frenzy and result in the ultimate spot light shifting to them... These attention grabbers and seekers of cheap popularity forget that this could have been something which may have been a remote possibility in the 70s or 80s... But since then things have changed quite a lot in post liberalisation India... Now it is not the single message of the imam of a particular mosque (asking Muslim to vote for a particular party) which significantly sways the fortune of the party and ushers them in to power... The Muslim of present day have seen through the deceit and cunning game enough to be again lured in to such tactics...

Vande Mataram is a patriotic song which swung the nation in to patriotic fervour and led to the ultimate freedom of the Nation... It has its value in the history of the nation as much as the sacrifice of numerous patriotic Muslims who have laid down their lives for the sake of the motherland... Besides being a free and democratic country as ours, there is no compulsion or coercion on us to sing or not to sing a particular song.. For that matter we are so liberal that we are naturally not shocked at people who do not rise up on their feet for the national anthem too... (most of the time I have been laughed at for standing up for the national anthem even if it is on the T.V)...

However, the larger point here is : have the mullahs ( and it applies to all fundamentalists from all religions) ever issued a fatwa against pressing issues like health, education, livelihood, sanitation, housing and women empowerment.. I need not go on quoting statistics to underline the fact that one of the most backward group currently in this country are the Muslims...The major reason being the fact that these innocent people fall victim to the mullah.. starting from education to the type of health care they should seek out and the way they should live... Everything is dictated by the Mullahs in one form or the other...This very fact has been played to the hilt by our opportunistic politicians who are hand in gloves with these clergies and promise the earth to these poor Innocent people to romp all the way to power... All the promises fades to the background after the win and this section of the society is relegated to the background... The anger and frustration of poverty and helplessness of the people then becomes a favourable breeding ground for malice like anti social activities, crime and young men lured by vested interest in to activities of terrorism... Has any mullah taken cognisance of these facts and issued fatwa against them... How many Mullah have issued fatwa against Muslim household not sending their children for formal education, or marrying their daughter before the legal age or issued fatwa against household for not maintaining sanitation and hygiene...The answer is a resounding NO...

Muslim have been an integral part of the country since time unknown and have contributed to the process of nation building shoulder to shoulder with their fellow countrymen.. They are also a section which sadly lags behind others in term of overall development till date.. The time has come for the government to take cognisance of the fact that these issues can not be allowed to fester and left unaddressed.. Otherwise we may be troubled by problems which will be basically ghost of our past mistakes... Let us learn from the mistakes of mammoth proportion committed by the Big Brother in the West and neither take part nor be a silent spectator to the marginalisation and coercion of a community so much so that they fall easy prey to vested interest and go on a war which seeks to annihiliate the very humankind...

Muslim community simultaneously has to wake up and recognise the fact that the mullahs and vested interests wants anything but their welfare and decide that it is high time that they take the matter of their own development in to their own hand and walk quickly to be at par with the rapid stride of our nation with others...

Somebody aptly told me long time back a phrase which translates in to:

Islam was created by Allah but is deformed by Mullah (clergy)

Well this may not be the whole truth but then it is an indication of what the truth may be like...

Let my country awake....

The Bucket list

Watched "The Bucket List" starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Its a sweet movie about two terminally ill cancer patient Carter Chambers (Freeman) and billionaire hospital magnate Edward Cole (Nicholson) both of whom meet in the hospital after both have been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Carter makes a "Bucket List" of things that he wants to do before he 'kicked the bucket'... This gets Edward Cole interested and he also adds his list of things that he wants to do before he dies... What ensues after that is an exciting trip of adventure and self discovery for both the men which left me half laughing, half crying...

The movie has a lingering effect on the audience in the sense that it compels you to think... 'that if it was your last day and you had umpteenth thing that needs your attention... things you always thought you could do but never could get yourself down to doing it.. the numerous thing that you wanted to say to your loved ones which has been left unsaid till now.. the piece of your mind which you always hoped to give your half sadist half paranoid boss before you kiss your job goodbye... et al et al...

Haven't all of us had such a long list of things which all of us wanted to do?

As for me its definitely a yes... So here goes my "Bucket List' of things that I would like to do (not necessarily in the same order) before providence decides to call it a day for me...

• Go on a world trip to all the scenic beauty I have seen only in pictures and experience them first hand
• Conquer my perennial fear in maths and become a maths genius
• Turn around the clock and be able to express my love to what could have been my 1st love
• To be able to experience just one golden days of my childhood if I could
• Have a villa at the top of the highest point at Mahabaleswar
• Own a black Scorpio with mind blowing music system
• Do my MPH at Johns' Hopkins (not that I can not but only if it is my last few days)
• To be known as a good human being even when I am gone

I know the list is endless but then can any body have a hold on the wishes that one can make... especially if it is your last few days of your human existence on this earth...

The best thing I liked about the movie is the conversation that Carter and Edward Cole has atop a pyramid in Egypt in which Carter says that the Egyptian have a belief that when they die and go to meet their creator they are asked 2 questions before they are admitted in to heaven:

Q.1. "Did you have joy within your life time?"
Q.2. "Did you bring joy to people within your life time?"

What a symbolic way of squeezing the entire life's existence in to 2 such simple yet loaded question... whether you got joy out of what you did and were you instrumental in bringing joys to people around you..

When I think deeply, that's what life entirely is... getting joy and giving joy.. and the foremost thing that ensures that you get joy is by giving joys to others which ensures that what you give away to others comes back to you in manifold...

Go kiss the World !

A brilliant speech delivered by Subroto Bagchi, CEO MindTree, to the Class of 2006 at the IIM, Bangalore on defining success; produced here in toto. Somehow I identify with him coming from a similar background and context....

"I was the last child of a small-time government servant, in a family of five brothers. My earliest memory of my father is as that of a District Employment Officer in Koraput, Orissa. It was, and remains as back of beyond as you can imagine. There was no electricity; no primary school nearby and water did not flow out of a tap. As a result, I did not go to school until the age of eight; I was home-schooled. My father used to get transferred every year. The family belongings fit into the back of a jeep, so the family moved from place to place and without any trouble, my Mother would set up an establishment and get us going. Raised by a widow who had come as a refugee from the then East Bengal, she was a matriculate when she married my Father.

My parents set the foundation of my life and the value system, which makes me what I am today and largely, defines what success means to me today. As District Employment Officer, my father was given a jeep by the government. There was no garage in the Office, so the jeep was parked in our house. My father refused to use it to commute to the office. He told us that the jeep is an expensive resource given by the government- he reiterated to us that it was not his jeep but the government's jeep. Insisting that he would use it only to tour the interiors, he would walk to his office on normal days.. He also made sure that we never sat in the government jeep - we could sit in it only when it was stationary. That was our early childhood lesson in governance, a lesson that corporate managers learn the hard way, some never do. The driver of the jeep was treated with respect due to any other member of my Father's office. As small children, we were taught not to call him by his name. We had to use the suffix "dada". whenever we were to refer to him in public or private. When I grew up to own a car and a driver by the name of Raju was appointed, I repeated the lesson to my two small daughters. They have, as a result, grown up to call Raju, 'Raju Uncle' very different from many of their friends who refer to their family driver, as 'my driver'. When I hear that term from a school- or college-going person, I cringe.

To me, the lesson was significant, you treat small people with more respect than how you treat big people. It is more important to respect your subordinates than your superiors.

Our day used to start with the family huddling around my Mother's chulha, an earthen fire place she would build at each place of posting where she would cook for the family. There was neither gas, nor electrical stoves.The morning routine started with tea. As the brew was served, Father would ask us to read aloud the editorial page of The Statesman's muffosil edition delivered one day late. We did not understand much of what we were reading. But the ritual was meant for us to know that the world was larger than Koraput district and the English I speak today, despite having studied in an Oriya medium school, has to do with that routine. After reading the newspaper aloud, we were told to fold it neatly. Father taught us a simple lesson.

He used to say, 'You should leave your newspaper and your toilet, the way you expect to find it. That lesson was about showing consideration to others.

Business begins and ends with that simple precept.

Being small children, we were always enamored with advertisements in the newspaper for transistor radios, we did not have one. We saw other people having radios in their homes and each time there was an advertisement of Philips, Murphy or Bush radios, we would ask Father when we could get one. Each time, my Father would reply that we did not need one because he already had five radios, alluding to his five sons. We also did not have a house of our own and would occasionally ask Father as to when, like others, we would live in our own house. He would give a similar reply, We do not need a house of our own. I already own five houses... His replies did not gladden our hearts in that instant.

Nonetheless, we learnt that it is important not to measure personal success and sense of well being through material possessions.

Government houses seldom came with fences. Mother and I collected twigs and built a small fence. After lunch, my Mother would never sleep. She would take her kitchen utensils and with those she and I would dig the rocky, white ant infested surrounding. We planted flowering bushes. The white ants destroyed them. My mother brought ash from her chulha and mixed it in the earth and we planted the seedlings all over again. This time, they bloomed. At that time, my father's transfer order came. A few neighbors told my mother why she was taking so much pain to beautify a government house, why she was planting seeds that would only benefit the next occupant. My mother replied that it did not matter to her that she would not see the flowers in full bloom.. She said, 'I have to create a bloom in a desert and whenever I am given a new place, I must leave it more beautiful than what I had inherited'. That was my first lesson in success.

It is not about what you create for yourself, it is what you leave behind that defines success.

My mother began and galvanized the nation in to patriotic fervor. Other than reading out the newspaper to my mother, I had no clue about how I could be part of the action. So, after reading her the newspaper, every day I would land up near the University's water tank, which served the community. I would spend hours under it, imagining that there could be spies who would come to poison the water and I had to watch for them. I would daydream about catching one and how the next day, I would be featured in the newspaper. Unfortunately for me, the spies at war ignored the sleepy town of Bhubaneswar and I never got a chance to catch one in action.. Yet, that act unlocked my imagination.

Imagination is everything.. If we can imagine a future, we can create it, if we can create that future, others will live in it. That is the essence of success.

Over the next few years, my mother's eyesight dimmed but in me she created a larger vision, a vision with which I continue to see the world and, I sense, through my eyes, she was seeing too. As the next few years unfolded, her vision deteriorated and she was operated for cataract. I remember, when she returned after her operation and she saw my face clearly for the first time, she was astonished. She said, 'Oh my God, I did not know you were so fair'.. I remain mighty pleased with that adulation even till date. Within weeks of getting her sight back, she developed a corneal ulcer and, overnight, became blind in both eyes. That was 1969. She died in 2002. In all those 32 years of living with blindness, she never complained about her fate even once.

Curious to know what she saw with blind eyes, I asked her once if she sees darkness. She replied, 'No, I do not see darkness. I only see light even with my eyes closed'. Until she was eighty years of age, she did her morning yoga everyday, swept her own room and washed her own clothes.

To me, success is about the sense of independence; it is about not seeing the world but seeing the light.

Over the many intervening years, I grew up, studied, joined the industry and began to carve my life's own journey. I began my life as a clerk in a government office, went on to become a Management Trainee with the DCM group and eventually found my life's calling with the IT industry when fourth generation computers came to India in 1981.. Life took me places, I worked with outstanding people, challenging assignments and traveled all over the world. In 1992, while I was posted in the US, I learnt that my father, living a retired life with my eldest brother, had suffered a third degree burn injury and was admitted in the Safderjung Hospital in Delhi. I flew back to attend to him, he remained for a few days in critical stage, bandaged from neck to toe.

The Safderjung Hospital is a cockroach infested, dirty, inhuman place. The overworked, under-resourced sisters in the burn ward are both victims and perpetrators of dehumanized life at its worst. One morning, while attending to my Father, I realized that the blood bottle was empty and fearing that air would go into his vein, I asked the attending nurse to change it. She bluntly told me to do it myself. In that horrible theater of death, I was in pain and frustration and anger. Finally when she relented and came, my Father opened his eyes and murmured to her, 'Why have you not gone home yet?' Here was a man on his deathbed but more concerned about the overworked nurse than his own state. I was stunned at his stoic self.

There I learnt that there is no limit to how concerned you can be for another human being and what the limit of inclusion is you can create.

My father died the next day. He was a man whose success was defined by his principles, his frugality, his universalism and his sense of inclusion.

Above all, he taught me that success is your ability to rise above your discomfort, whatever may be your current state. You can, if you want, raise your consciousness above your immediate surroundings.

Success is not about building material comforts, the transistor that he never could buy or the house that he never owned. His success was about the legacy he left, the memetic continuity of his ideals that grew beyond the smallness of a ill-paid, unrecognized government servant's world..

My father was a fervent believer in the British Raj. He sincerely doubted the capability of the post-independence Indian political parties to govern the country. To him, the lowering of the Union Jack was a sad event. My Mother was the exact opposite. When Subhash Bose quit the Indian National Congress and came to Dacca, my mother, then a schoolgirl, garlanded him. She learnt to spin khadi and joined an underground movement that trained her in using daggers and swords. Consequently, our household saw diversity in the political outlook of the two. On major issues concerning the world, the Old Man and the Old Lady had differing opinions.

In them, we learnt the power of disagreements, of dialogue and the essence of living with diversity in thinking. Success is not about the ability to create a definitive dogmatic end state; it is about the unfolding of thought processes, of dialogue and continuum.

Two years back, at the age of eighty-two, Mother had a paralytic stroke and was lying in a government hospital in Bhubaneswar. I flew down from the US where I was serving my second stint, to see her. I spent two weeks with her in the hospital as she remained in a paralytic state. She was neither getting better nor moving on. Eventually I had to return to work. While leaving her behind, I kissed her face. In that paralytic state and a garbled voice, she said,

'Why are you kissing me, go kiss the world.'

Her river was nearing its journey, at the confluence of life and death, this woman who came to India as a refugee, raised by a widowed Mother, no more educated than high school, married to an anonymous government servant whose last salary was Rupees Three Hundred, robbed of her eyesight by fate and crowned by adversity was telling me to go and kiss the world!

Success to me is about Vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about imagination. It is about sensitivity to small people.

It is about building inclusion. It is about connectedness to a larger world existence. It is about personal tenacity. It is about giving back more to life than you take out of it. It is about creating extra-ordinary success with ordinary lives.

Thank you very much; I wish you good luck and God's speed. Go! kiss the world."

Malgudi Days

Yesterday I went to one of the shopping mall named City Centre at Banjara Hills, Hyderabad (incidentally the only shopping mall which I have visited the max. till date). The reason for my oft drop at the mall is the "Crossword" shop which has an extensive collection of books, DVDs and C.Ds. Yesterday I went in for the first time with a deliberate intention of not buying any new books coz my list of unread books have gone up in the last few months as I have not been able to do any serious reading...

With such an intention I entered "Crossword" and immediately headed for the DVD et al section... I had planned for buying some cool Hollywood Action movie or some romantic movie which I can watch with my love... However there was not much that could really attract my attention and hold me interested as it was all run of the mill flick which I either have in my small library or can see over the cable... Disinterested I switched to the music category and found some great gazals from the movies by Jagjit Singh which I wanted to buy but alas.... it all turned out to be audio C.Ds whereas I wanted visual treat...

Disheartened, I moved to other Sections... Children Cartoons... devotional music... CDs of Television serials.. et al et al... That's where it caught my attention...

In the corner selves, stacked neatly were the entire collection of my favourite serial "Malgudi days" being brought out by Big Home Video... I just sat down there and then and began to rummage through the piles... Looking at the series and reading the episodes brought back nostalgic memories of how Swami and his friends used to be an integral part of our childhood and how we will all wait for the serial to be broadcast in DD (I think it was on a Friday)... Malgudi Days and the rich haunting melody of its title song still reminds all of us of the good ol' days...

So now I have a whole collection of "Malgudi Days" with me which I will start watching from today and be transported back to the golden era when I was still a child....

Till then the books can wait...

The Power of Choice

The last few days have gone in a tizzy and I have not had the chance to blog for quite sometime. Now that I am back to normalcy, thought would pick up the thread where I left...

Thinking of the many things that I can write on... the happenings of the last few days... the whirlpool of activities going around me for the last few weeks... etc etc... but I thought I will just give it a break and look ahead...Which in my opinion is the best thing to do.... coz looking back only takes you down the memory lane which are best forgotten.. So I decided that its time to look ahead with a fervor and zeal which may and should surpass the previous enthusiasm that I had as regards everything in life...

Of the many things that I have been thinking in the last few days, the one which I thought I will write on is the Power of Choice... the power which all of us have but very few of us realise and still a very few exercise in real life...

As Rousseau, the great Philosopher, exclaimed " man is born free but everywhere he is in chains"... is it really true or is it the figment of our imagination... True we are born in to a certain family, a certain culture and are part of a society which has its own inherent biases... but does that gives us the excuse to behave in a particular way or to function (or not to function) in a given way... As I said in one of my earlier blogs, that everyone has a right to happiness... similarly all of us have a right to and a power to choose the type of life that we have decided to live...

I always tend to look at life from the perspective of a journey and me being the traveller (people who know me closely would immediately recognise this bias coming from Paulo Coelho and his immensely inspirational books especially The Alchemist which has influenced me to a great extent)... In the journey of our life we are often confronted with bi, tri and multiple furcation and division in the road each inviting us to travel on it with promises of things which are blissful as well as fulfilling at the destination.... most traveler takes these roads in the hope that they will get at the end to what they have always cherished for... but has anybody ever thought of the journey on the way... is it going to be equally fulfilling, satiating or even pleasant to make the overall experience of the traveler worthwhile... All our life we struggle in our path and travel circuitous routes to arrive at the Utopia of our dream but alas.... at the end the thought always arises : "Is the chase worth the trophy?"... By the time we reach Utopia either we are too old or too sick to even appreciate the beauty of it.. come to think of it... the cherished destination for which we have been traveling our entire life coming to noughts...

Besides also if we look the Power of choice each of us have, it also gives us the power to be or not to be in a particular situation, condition or context... In this regard I vividly remember the last scene of movie Hellboy in its climax scene when the villain Rasputin captures Hellboy's lady love and telling Hellboy that she will only come back to life only if he complies to becoming evil (that he was originally destined to become from birth).... Hellboy, not wanting to lose his lady love awakens his true power as the devil, causing his devilish power to regrow. He nearly releases the devil, but the injured FBI agent working with him reminds him of who he is and that he has the right to choose his own path. Remembering his true self and what his father brought him up to be, he snaps back to reality and becomes the good self that he was previously and unleashes destruction for the evil forces...

There is 2 great lessons for us here: that is firstly about choosing between which path to undertake one's journey on and also that fact that a given situation,context, your background or the biases (that I was talking about earlier ) will not matter much if you have a strong resolve to exercise your Power of choice...

I always share this with people with whom I interact at a personal level:
"Listen closely to your heart and do its bidding... For when the heart calls its call has to be answered coz mind rationalises but the heart takes an informed decision based on its awareness of the type of person you are... "

So Go on... Exercise your Power of Choice...

Aude Sapere

When I wrote in my blog that I prefer taking the unbeaten track and dance to the beats of a distant drummer, I did not quite remember the last time when I did so. May be it was about a year or 2 back but since then the interval in between have been populated with so many events that it seems to be ages away...

May be in the interval in between I have grown comfortable in my self-created cocoon or may be the situation have been so that I have preferred to choose more comfort in the process..

I still remember when I was student of Homoeopathy when we as student used to study the philosophy of Homoeopathy written by the founder Dr. Samuel Hahnemann called the Organon of Medicine, the most prominent thing that I remember to this day is a quotation from Horace which Hahnemann had put in the beginning of the book - "Aude Sapere".... This translates in to its English equivalent "Dare to be Wise". Hahanemann goes on to explain that in science we must be willing to explore, think innovatively and basically step out of our comfort zone... That's when we will step in to hitererto unexplored realm and sail in to uncharted water...

The significance of this statement and the quotation had a profound effect on my life as continuously I have denied being cast in to a mould and always have an inner restlessness to venture out in to the unknown and explore new avenues...

I may say that I always have heard to my heart's calling and let it rule over my mind most of the time... This has always earned rich dividend for me in not only giving me a better experience but also making me a stronger and better person than I have been previously...

True, sometimes I lose sight of this fact and slip in to a comforting lull only to be waked rudely by my inner spirit which is always restless and untiring... This has always enabled me to chart in to uncharted water and make a difference to myself and to the lives of those I come across in the course of my journey...

Time and again I have come across people, my 'superiors' and well wishers who think that they can take control of this spirit, tame it, repress it and in the process make it more 'content' and 'settled' in life... But each time I have broken from such mould and went on to explore new territories...

It is not because either I am arrogant, insolent or insensitive to their feelings... But somewhere deep down I feel that this constant drive of my spirit is what keeps me going, not letting me get in to the mould or be part of a crowd... I think this is the strength which incessantly drives me forward in life...

When I was a child we used to read Ulyses by Lord Alfred Tennyson where the protagonist exhorts his ship mate thus:

"It little profits that an idle king, By this still hearth, among these barren crags....
That hoard and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel: I will drink Life to the lees....

Thro’ scudding drifts the rainy Hyades Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart...

Yet all experience is an arch wherethro’ Gleams that untravell’d world,
whose margin fades For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish’d, not to shine in use!
As tho’ to breathe were life. .....

... this gray spirit yearning in desire To follow knowledge, like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought...

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil; Death closes all:
but something ere the end, Some work of noble note, may yet be done...

Come, my friends, ’Tis not too late to seek a newer world...

Push off, and sitting well in order smite The sounding furrows;
for my purpose holds To sail beyond the sunset,
and the baths Of all the western stars until I die... "

So is it for me.... I will always keep n setting up the sails of my ship in new directions and let the strong wind of my spirit and destiny guide me to places where no one has ever been... To a place which has always been my Utopia....

Happiness in relationships

Continuing on the theme of happiness and the intricacy of how, where and when we can get it, I must share my feelings here...

For last few days, in fact for last 1 year I have a strange aloofness from relationships in a way which is somewhere closer to the self detachment as prophesised by the Mahatma himself... Well you may think it a bit going over the board but again I am being totally honest here...

Talking about my previous self, I was really concerned about what people might think about the way I interacted with them, the way I worked and in fact the way I functioned.. I used to really get concerned about whether I have offended anyone or or put off anybody with anything... Not any more... (Though here I must emphasise the fact that I am very concerned and particular about not hurting people intentionally)...

Over a period of time I have come to realise that no matter what you do and how much more you strive, you will not be able to please everybody all the time... There will be some voices of dissatisfaction, disgruntlement and anger from some corner..

What I have come to realise is the fact that whatever little time we have been given by providence to spend in our earthly life, we should be happy and make others happy and overall create a happy ambiance to one's self...

I firmly believe that everybody has a right to happiness and of spending his/her life in peace, tranquility and contentment... Hence i refuse to be part of a relationship which continuously seeks to hurt me and never at any point of time gives back anything in return... Simply put, I refuse to be in a selfish relationship which only demands a never ending list of things to be done at my end but in return is very quiet about the deliverable that they have to deliver from their end...

I strongly believe human relationship to be a much more mutual one and more of a give and take affair... In a relationship, each person/party has to cover the same distance (if not more) and has to do what is expected of each before true happiness can be had from the given relationship...

I always tell this to people I love: People who care for you will never hurt you and those who hurt you will never care for you...

Before anybody among you run away with the notion that all is not well in heaven for me... Lemme correct you here in saying that indeed everything is well in heaven for me... This is just my sharing of experience from my life about how I see things... ;)

What is happiness?

Another peep in to the deep recesses of human complexities and what they mean by the term happiness from Paulo Coelho. It indeed struck me as how we all pretend to be happy while in reality very few of us are 'really' happy. In the daily mad rush of life when sustenance and maintaining a certain standard of living becomes the foremost goal, when the destination becomes more important than the journey, when matter takes precedence over man in one's priority in life... in such an existence human being is reduced to a machine performing mechanical functions of what is being programmed in to it...

Here is the excerpt of the writing from the great man...

This is a question that has not bothered me for a long time, precisely because I don’t know how to answer it. I am not the only one. Through all these years I have lived with all sorts of people: rich and poor, powerful and mediocre. In the eyes of all who have crossed my path – and here I include warriors and wise men, people who should have nothing to complain about - I have always found that there was something missing. Some people seem to be happy: they just do not think about it. Others make plans: “I’m going to have a husband, a home, two children, and a house in the country”. While this keeps them occupied, they are like bulls looking for the bullfighter: they don’t think, they just keep moving forward. They manage to get their car - sometimes even a Ferrari – and they think that the meaning of life lies there, so they never ask the question. Yet, despite all that, their eyes betray a sadness that they themselves are quite unaware of.

I don’t know if everyone is unhappy. I do know that people are always busy: working overtime, looking after the kids, the husband, the career, the university degree, what to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, whatever it is they need to have in order not to feel inferior, and so on. Few people have ever told me: “I’m unhappy”. Most say: “I’m fine, I’ve managed to get all I ever wanted”. So then I ask: “What makes you happy?” They answer: “I have everything that a person can dream of – a family, a home, work, good health”. I ask again: “Have you ever stopped to wonder if that is all there is to life?” They answer: “Yes, that’s all there is”. I insist: “So the meaning of life is work, the family, children who grow up and leave you, a wife or husband who will become more like a friend than a true love-mate. And one day the work will come to an end. What will you do when that happens?” They answer: there is no answer. They change the subject. But there is always something hidden there: the owner of a firm who has still to close the deal he has always dreamed of, the housewife who would like to have more Independence or more money, the new graduate who wonders whether he has chosen his career or has had it chosen for him, the dentist who wanted to be a singer, the singer who wanted to be a politician, the politician who wanted to be a writer, and the writer who wanted to be a peasant...

In this street where I am sit writing this column and looking at the people passing by, I bet that everyone is feeling the same thing. That elegant woman who has just walked by spends her days trying to stop time, controlling the bathroom scales, because she thinks love depends on that. On the other side of the street I see a couple with two children. They live moments of intense happiness when they go out with their kids, but at the same time their subconscious is busy thinking about the job they might not get, the tragedies that might occur, how to get over them, how to protect themselves from the world.

I leaf through magazines filled with famous people: everybody laughing, everybody very happy. But since this is a segment of society that I am quite familiar with, I know it is not like that: everyone is laughing or enjoying themselves at the moment that photo is taken, but at night, or in the morning, the story is always quite different. “What can I do to keep on appearing in the magazine?”, “how can I disguise not having enough money to afford all this luxury?” or “how can I manage this life of splendor to make it even more luxurious, more expressive than other people’s?”, “the actress whom I am seen with in this photo, laughing and having a great time, she could steal my part tomorrow!”, or “I wonder if my clothes are nicer than hers. Why do we smile so much if we loathe one another?”

To end, I recall the words of Jorge Luis Borges: “I will not be happy any more, but that doesn’t matter, / there are many other things in this world”.

The good Samaratian

Driving in the roads of Hyderabad can be nightmarish sometime as the traffic is so unpredictable and more so with the auto rickshaw which seems to jump out of no where and block your way... there are 2 options in such situation.. either screech to a halt by applying break suddenly (if you are attentive enough) or the other one is a much painful one where you just smash in to them causing damage to both the vehicles apart from injuries....

Yesterday, when I was coming back from my sister's house, one such 3 wheeled monster jumped right in front of me from the side and tried to overtake me.. I cursed under my breath as I screeched to a halt.. I cursed all auto rickshaws of Hyderabad under my breath and drove away..

Suddenly I remembered Shiva then...

It was the summer of 2004 when I set out for Mumbai with loads of dreams in my eye for appearing in the selection test of the Premier Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS)... I along with one of my senior took the Konark express from Bhubaneswar to Mumbai... To our pleasant surprise we also found out that one of my college teacher (who used to teach us Zoology) was also on the train along with his daughter and incidentally they were also going to TISS for the same selection test.. It was a pleasant coincidence and we set out from Bhubanesawr with the anticipation of a pleasant journey to Mumbai... In the coach also we met a young Marathi doctor by the name Gajanan from Solapur who was working in Orissa in some private company... We all had great time together as we chit chatted throughout the way and our teacher would reminisces on the old days and how student of today are spoiled and lack the dedication of our generation...

The next day we reached Secunderabad at about mid day and the train reached the station on platform no. 7. As Ganjanan was a frequent traveler he told us that the train would stay for about half an hour and we could stretch our limbs and also could go to platform no. 1.. As my senior wanted to purchase some medicine, we decided to go to platform no. 1... In platform no. 1 when we looked across we could not see our train as there were many trains which were there in the intermediary platforms.. Hence we relied on the public address system and went about the purchase of my senior's medicine.. one work after another cropped up for all of us and before we knew nearly 20 mins. had passed and we all scrambled back to platform no. 7....

But the platform was empty and our train had left...

perplexed and confused we looked at each other in utter disbelief and bewilderment... We came early but yet the train had left.. How this can possibly happen.. We asked railway workers nearby and they explained that sometimes if a train is running late, it leaves the platform earlier than scheduled.. true enough... the train was running late already.. but then they must have announced it in the P.A system.. How could we not hear it?.... Now what will we do? all of us were in our shorts and sleep-in trousers.. all our belonging was in the train including our certificates, clothes et al...

We rushed to the station master to enquire if there is any way the train can be alerted about these developments so that at least in the next station they debunk our luggage which we then can collect.. the station master though sympathetic to our plight expressed his inability to do so as it was not permissible officially... In desperation we rushed outside and were thinking what to do...

Thats when we heard a very soothing voice...

"Kya hua saab... train chhut gayee kya?"

We noticed a auto driver in his early twenties asking us with concerned face...

We nodded in agreement... He found out the train's name and told us if we rush to the next station (I think it was Begumpet) then we may catch it... However, in the entire conversation he never suggested that we may take his auto for this dash...

Seeing his helpful nature, we decided to hire him and hopped in to his auto.. He drove like a mad bull, bypassing motorist and much to our embarrassment, traffic signals... We reached Begumepet station but found out that the train had left the station just a few moments ago...

Refusing to give up Shiva ( for that was his name) asked us to sit in the auto and thought of chasing the train to the next station from which we dissuaded him.. Gajanan then told us if we can go by road fast enough to a place called Wadi Junction(about 4 hours drive from there) then we may be able to catch the train which stays for some 30 mins in that station (as it is a big junction)...

Then again we turned to our hero Shiva and asked him to take us to some taxi which will take us.. He obediently obliged and took us to them... However, we had little luck here also as most taxi driver said that with the traffic of Hyderabad city, it would take nearly 1 to 2 hours to hit the highway and from there it would take another 4 hours by which time the train already would have left Wadi..

Then Gajanan had an idea... He decided to call his brother and asked him to come to the station at Solapur, inform my teacher about how we have missed the train, break the chains (binding our luggages together), and unload his luggage and hand over our luggage to my teacher.. Further he was instructed to wait for Gajanan in Solapur station....

We asked Shiva and he informed us that the next train to Mumbai was the Charminar express and if we hurry we may get on it... As all of were in so run down condition with even our cash and everything in the train, we had only barely enough to either pay off Shiva (by the way he had a bill of Rs. 350 for the entire period) or buy us tickets in the general compartment of the next train...

As happens in most city, so also in Hyderabad, some owners travel with the auto along with the driver to check on cheating by the driver.. So also was the case with Shiva who had a nosey owner with him... " Haan saab haan, chalo Rs. 350 de do... Hum ko jaana hey.." said solemnly Shiva's owner... We were quite and could not say anything... This asking for money went on for some time...

"Aap rehendo.." Said Shiva to his owner , now stepping in to the conversation. " aap saab jaa kar ticket khareed lo, nahin toh train chhut jaayegi" then as if chiding his owner he said " itni musibat aap logon pe aa gayee hey.. aap log jaldi ticket karke jaao aur exams do.." he said in all sincerity and earnestness and told his owner that he will work extra time that day to give him back that money...

we were all moved by his act of generosity and kindness. We were amazed to see the magnanimity and humaneness which an ordinary auto driver can have when put to extraordinary circumstances..

We bought ticket, took his mobile number and address and promised to pay up on our return...

"Koyee baat nahin hey saab, aap log thik thak pahunch jaao aur jis kaam ke liye jaa rahey ho ho jaye, itna kaafi hey" He said in his own simplistic and unassuming way.. We were all weighed down with the burden of his kindness...

We reached Mumbai in the wee hours of the next day and found my teacher with our luggage.. All of us got a good scolding for being so careless and reckless.. Nevertheless we were happy to find back our possessions and left for TISS..

After the screening test, I returned back home.. Before I started for home from Mumbai I called up and gave Shiva the train name and the coach number...

Right there he was standing on the platform and smiling at me as my train reached Secunderabad...

"Saab kaise hain... Aur kaam sab thik thak ho gaya na" Asked the ever ebullient Shiva..

I told him that we have given the exam and the rest is left to God's design..

"Chinta nakko karo saab... aap ka zaroor ho jaayega.." Said Shiva confidently and I said a silent amen to it..

"Main aapke liye thoda biryani le aata hoon.. said Shiva and started to make way for fetching Biryaani... as he was leaving thus I caught hold of him and hugged him tightly..

"Rehne do dost, itna ehsaan aap kiye ho.. ab aur ehsaan kay bojh humare upar mat daalo..." I said as tears of gratitude rolled from my eyes uanabshedly...

I gave him the money we owed to him but he was not at all prepared to take it.. After much cajoling and convincing he took it rather reluctantly...

"Kabhi bhi aap saab Hyderabd aao toh mujhko zarror phone karna.. aap ko mein ghar leke jaata.." he shouted above all the din and noise as my train was leaving..

I saw the most richest man in the world that day standing in the platform and waving goodbye to me.. That day Shiva taught me that man is capable of doing immense good to his fellow human being... Only what is required is a big, kind lion heart of people like Shiva who though are poor but have never let go of the richness of their soul which shines forth like pure gold...

Few days after I got the result of TISS and my name was there, right on top of the list. Neither my senior nor any other person I knew had made it that year.. It was as if a vindication of what Shiva said

"Chinta nakko karo saab... aap ka zaroor ho jaayega.."

After that I have tried calling him several times but without success and still to this day hope that if somehow I bump in to him I will tell him the later part of the story and tell him how unknowingly he has been instrumental in shaping my life in to what it is today...

There are many Shivas in this world who just selflessly carry out small act of kindness which more often than not goes unacknowledged.. These are the kind gentle souls who though suffer themselves but learn to serve selflessly and try to alleviate the pains of others... A great lesson to all of us on our role in this world and towards humankind....

1408

Watched 1408 on Star Movies on Sunday. Though it was a Sunday night when I am supposed to fall back to my weekday work routine (by going early to sleep so that I wake up early on Monday and not be late for office) , this compelling movie forced me to wake up till 1 a.m in the night in what happened to be one of the best horror movie I have ever seen...

The plot unfolds with Mike Enslin (John Cusack) who is a writer writing in the genre of the ghost and paranormal... He has a panache for debunking supernatural occurrences after the untimely death of his daughter Katie.

After hearing from people the rumour of a hunted room numbered 1408 in the famous Dolphin Hotel in New York, he decides to visit the hotel armed with all legal know-how of securing the particular room as it was also heard that the hotel management never rents out that particular room to anybody. The manager of the hotel, is a man who has seen enough death and destruction in that room to allow anybody to even step in to it and tries out all trick in the book to ensure Enslin does not check in to that particular room. Adeptly portrayed by the seasoned Samuel L. Jackson the whole negotiation was brilliantly done with Jackson trying to dissuade Cussack in to checking in to that room but ultimately gives in to Cussack's adamant stand and also to the fear of a legal backlash on denying a guest a room when it is available...

After Enslin checks in the movie goes in to a total roller coaster ride as Cussack starts hearing noise, sees ghostly apparition, blood curdling imagery which sends chill down the spine.. My best moments are when he tries to rip off the radio from the plug (when it starts to play on its own) and even then the radio continues to play on...the other being when Enslin cries out to somebody on the front building to help him out and sees a person like him standing there and mimicking him in what happens to be a mirror image replication of his own activity..Among all such bizarre happening is the specter of him meeting with his father who is long dead and meeting his dead daughter who cries out "Daddy, Daddy" to him, he holds her in his arm and ultimately Katie dies in his arms yet again and suddenly turns in to dust..


After all the various forms of horror which seems to go on and on, Enslin decides to break this cycle by setting fire with the help of the Cognac he had with him and is rescued by the fire fighting team... He recovers and completes the novel on his recent experience.. Suddenly his wife Lilly finds and hands him a bag containing the remnants of his possession from the fire tragedy... A voice recorder he had with him...And he decides to play it..

In the entire movie every now and then Enslin would take a swig of the Cognac handed to him by the hotel manager and suddenly he remembers that the hotel manager may have mixed some chemical with some hallucinating substance.. I think that was the master piece as I am sure most of the audience (myself included) believed the same till the end...

Coming back to the voice recorder, on being played it plays out his various delirious conversation in to the recorder and his attempt to stay sane in that room in a time which seemed to be a distant past for him now.....

thats when we all hear the voice of his daughter Katie from the voice recorder which calls out "Daddy, Daddy"...

And the movie ends with deathly horror written all over the couple's face....

Best horror movie recommended over the week end and ensure that somebody is with you and you are not alone.... Not surely for the faint hearted...

The magic instant

	Another pearl of wisdom from Paulo Coelho whose update " The Warrior of Light" I get regularly. These are the types of inspiration that keeps one going in life. A must read article the excerpts of which are quoted below: "We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself. Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant. It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles. Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith. Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.” Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed. We must listen to the child that we once were, and who still lives within us. This child understands about magic instants. We can muffle his sobbing, but we can’t hush his voice. If we aren’t reborn, if we don’t see life again with the innocence and enthusiasm of childhood, then there is no more sense to living. There are many ways to commit suicide. Those who try to kill their body offend God’s law. Those who try to kill their soul also offend God’s law, although their crime is less visible to the eyes of man. Let us be heedful of what the child within us has to say. Let’s not feel ashamed of it. Let’s not allow it to feel afraid, because it’s lonely and is scarcely ever heard. Let’s allow the child within us to take the reins of our existence a little. This child says that one day is different from another. Let’s make the child feel loved again. Let’s please this child – even if it means acting in a way that we’re not used to, even if it seems foolish in the eyes of others. Remember that the wisdom of men is madness before God. If we listen to the child we bear in our soul, our eyes will shine once more. If we don’t lose contact with this child, we won’t lose contact with life..."

Nature creature

Day before yesterday when I was driving down the road towards my apartment, I was suddenly taken aback with the beauty, calm and serenity of the locality that I leave in...

To make matter more clear, I live almost at the outskirt of Hyderabad city near the Golconda Fort... (The Fort is visible from my balcony and terrace and is a joy to watch each evening with the sun going down)

The entire place is an army cantonment area with the Artillery Centre of the Indian Army situated in it... Though the place has seen a lot of ravages in the last 6 months (due to road widening work in what happened to be a thickly green area with old trees providing the road with their shadow on both sides of the road) however thanks to the cantonment area and the thick green cover in terms of tree planted by the army, the area has not lost all of its charm...

Apart from the historical siginficance, the area is also famous for the Gandipet lake (which is the main source of drinking water for the burgeoning city) water park, Children's fun world, lush green resorts etc etc which makes it a popular weekend destination for all and sundry....

So what I was saying was that it never stuck me how beautiful my surrounding ambience was until yesterday...

All my life I have longed to live in such a locality with calm, serenity and peace reigning all the while... Yet when I got to stay in a similar locality I could never really notice it even after staying here so long.. May be in the hustle and bustle of daily life I have somewhere forgotten to enjoy and appreciate the sheer beauty of the place that I live in... Each day I drive to and fro to my flat without realising the rich beauty which surrounds me..

Thinking of nature, beauty and serenity I am transported to another world when I was a kid and we used to live (and still do ) in an area called Tulasipur at Cuttack which was relatively less populated with most convent and missionary schools located there... I still remember with fondness the walk that we as a family used to take through this beautiful locality with the church bells chiming in the background, a stray cuckoo singing in its beautiful tone, or of the calmness in the park by the river Mahanadi which did not have a big crowd and where we could play the see- saw, the swing and run around to our heart's content... I still remember how I used to get afraid by the mighty banyan tree with its roots hanging down.. in the darkness it used to give the impression of an old man sitting by the side of the road with his beard down...

Coupled with this I also have fond memory of my school days of traveling by this roads in rickshaw in wintery evening (when the evenings would set in early) and how we would sit in the rickshaw all petrified till we reached home...

Thinking of all the past blissful time I had with nature and the sheer joy of being in such a surrounding, my mind goes back to a poem titled "Stopping by woods on a snowy evening" by Robert Frost which I read during my school days and I quote below:

"Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. "

Positive Attitude in life

Right now I am going through a patch in my life, which I will not call a very purple one. This week dad was diagnosed with renal calculi which simply put is stone in the kidney...

My dad who till now has been so healthy and fit... I could never imagine him one day coming under the surgeon's knife...

While all of us try to keep him in good spirit and lively, somewhere all of us have been hit hard by the news...

I personally have been feeling very lonely but being unable to express it to anybody...

Just now when I was feeling very down and out,I remembered one of the talk I had heard from Sudha Murthy...

Those were the days when I went in a contingent representing our state in the National youth Festival at Trivandrum in the January of 2003...

Sudha Murthy was invited as a speaker on one of the days (of the Youth Festival) in the morning but her flight was delayed and she arrived quite late in the afternoon.. She immediately arrived in the stage and got in to a conversation mode.. As she had to leave early she stated her dialogue by introducing herself..

Everything about the way she spoke... The way she presented things and her overall persona reflected so much humility, devoid of any ego or pride...Seeing her I remembered one of the saying in Oriya, which roughly translates in to " The tree, which bears fruit the most bends down the most".

Sudha Murthy started with a plea: not to ask her questions regarding how she met Narayan Murthy, How they fell in love etc etc.

The conversation started with the crowd and people posing a lot of question. And then somebody asked her a question which started the story…

“What keeps you going in life” A young boy from some obscure college was the one who asked the question…

Even when I think now it really amazes me to think the depth which this question had…

Sudha Murthy fell silent for what seemed a long time and then she looked up…

“ I know this is going to be long but I must tell you this story” Said Sudha Murthy. “ This story will be a long one and may be it will be the last discussion which we may have in this forum, but I want you to listen to this story as it carries a valuable lessons for all of us to implement in our respective life” spoke Sudha Murthy in the same solemn tone.

The following is a recollection of all I could remember from the story. I may not vouch for its veracity word by word but what I could vouch is the essence and the beauty of the story which I still could feel whenever I close my eyes and take a deep breath…

Sudha Murthy told us...

“ I joined Engineering College with lots of anticipation and eagerness typical of a fresher. I came from a typical middle class family and was imbued with the value typical of a south Indian family namely to be good to others, to one’s self, work hard and honestly and to have a bright outlook in life.

The 1st day of my college I was allotted my hostel room and could not wait for classes to finish for me to check out my room.. My own room.. Something I could call my own…

Coming from a typical middle class family, we had to share room among ourselves.. To get a room that too to one’s self was a luxury unthinkable by us…

After my classes got over I rushed to the hostel and after some searching got my room. It was a nice little room with a good view from the window… in my excitement I forgot to see some luggage which was being kept there previously… That’s when I saw Shikha…(lets call her Shikha for the sake of anonymity)

“ Who are you” she looked at me angrily and asked.

“ This room has been allotted to me”. I gave back with a vengeance typical of the middle class when pushed to a corner...

“ That Can not be.. This room is allocated to me” She retorted even strongly…

We decided to go to the hostel superintendent so that my due room is given to me (she on the other hand also thought like wise).. When we went to the superintendent she said that the room is on twin sharing basis and belonged to both of us now.. Both of us could not believe our ears but kept quiet as getting an outside accommodation was nearly impossible in that area…

After getting back to the room we waged a silent war against each other and did not talk for some time.. However, I broke the silence as I saw no logical end to this tension given both of us misunderstood the situation initially.. She was somehow skeptic initially but later accepted the truce offer…

Then it was all fun and we would gossip day and night and became very close pals… but suddenly I noticed something in her…

I noticed that whenever we would talk, Shikha would ultimately take to the darker side of everything and would see the negative in everything… initially I used to take it as a one off phenomenon but increasingly noticed that it was a regular trait with her..

Starting from morning when she will wake up and if you say it’s a beautiful morning, she will immediately turn back and say what a lousy morning it is, how the climate here sucks and how it was so good at home.. And she will not stop at that.. She will crib about every single thing in the campus, her daily life and everything else except herself.. Whom she considered to be victim of all the vagaries of nature and man..

Staying thus with Shikha was becoming intolerable with each passing day and more than my study I believed that I will lose the focus in my life as well the positivity that is within me.. I met up with the hostel superintendent and requested for a room change.. As I was a good student and a disciplined one too, the superintendent allotted me another room.. That was the last I knew of Shikha..

I got busy in my schedule, semester exams, practicals etc and almost forgot about Shikha. Then I met Narayan and we fell in love and ultimately got married… eventually we started Infosys..

Long after our college days, when I was working for the company, I got to travel to Goa in a rainy day of August…

Rains can be so unpredictable in this part of the worlds.. After the meeting I was just taking a stroll in the street when suddenly it seemed as if somebody threw a bucketful of water on me from top and I was drenched to the skin all over.. I ran to the nearest shelter (which happened to be a coffee house) and took shelter inside (in the meanwhile the rain outside had suddenly stopped and it was all so very dry outside.. I was flabbergasted)…

I decided to take a hot cup of good coffee before I have another round of hide and seek with the rain god…

that’s when I saw her...

My God.. What would I do now.. Now she would come and pour out all her woes of all these years on me (which will be nothing in comparison to the rain which has ‘poured’ itself on me).. I must do something to escape her attention… just when I was about to escape out side I heard the dreaded voice “Sudha” Sudha”…

I had to stop..

I looked around and saw Shikha standing in front of me.. Not changed a bit and looking the same as college days.. I feigned surprise and we said hello to each other… “Come lets have coffee.. we have a lot of catching up to do..” said Shikha… her voice had an amazing chirpiness and warmth in it..

We sat down to have coffee.. then Shikha stared to pick up the thread where we had left it so many years ago.. And all the while I dreaded the moment.. When all cribbing, negativity and pessimism will gush forth leaving me drenched, exhausted and bitter..

Surprisingly, Shikha has been now talking for last 30 minutes almost on her own (my contribution being a minor nod, a hmmm or a smile) and I could not detect a single tinge of negativity and pessimism in her entire conversation.. It was as if life was a big treat for her.. She was talking away as if she is a girl in a village fair who is amazed to see all the new and wonderful things.. having a ball of a life time…and enjoying it all..

I could control myself no more…

I spluttered it out there and then… “Shikha if you do nt mind may I ask you something.. And forgiver me if I may sound blunt”

“ please go ahead. Ask” said Shikha

“How come I don’t find the old college days Shikha I am so used to.. Where is the girl who used to crib day and night about everything under the sun? I have been hearing you for the last 30 mins and I have not heard a single complaint, grumbling and cribbing from you.. What has happened to the Old Shikha.. I finished in one breath

Shikha smiled sweetly and looked at me.. “It’s a long story and I will only tell you if you promise to stay with me tonight” Said Shikha

I was so curious that I was ready to do the world just to know what had happened to my old friend.. I accompanied her to her house.. After refreshments and all we sat down.. “ Do let me know now na” I was pleading to her like a school girl… Shikha looked at me with admonishing eyes of an elder and I recoiled… “ ok baba , I will tell you.." Said Shikha…

Remember Sudha, how I was in the colleges” said Shikha with a voice which sounded as if coming from a far away land.. “Those were the days when we had lots of family problem in the family going on and all that pressure was affecting me. I completed my B Tech and joined a small company and came to Goa. Those were the rainy season as we have now. And when it rains in Goa it pours around here.. For days people will not be able to get out of houses and all life would come to a standstill.. I so very hated the weather..

Once it rained for 5 days and no body could go out.. I just stayed in the house happily thinking of all the chhutti and the free time I will get away from office.. But the enthusiasm and happiness died around the second day.. By third day I was really irritated, angry and dark humored.. I cursed everything, my job, the weather, Goa, my fate, God etc etc.. While thus irritated I sat near my window and just watched the rain sheer frustration…

That’s when I saw them…

They were both an old man and his grand daughter who begged across the street and had taken shelter on one of the verandah nearby from the rain.. I was seeing them continuously for last 3 days and they had gone without food as there were no ‘business’ for them.. Their face looked pale and they looked famished…

All of a sudden the girl got up ran in to the rain and started getting soaked in to the purest of water and how happy she was.. Suddenly she started dancing..

The grandpa called for her and asked her to come in.. But no amount of cajoling or threat would work.. So the old man was forced to go out and drag her in..

When the old man reached her the girl held on to him by the trunk and pleaded with him to dance with her..

Slowly the old man danced…

thinking of all pain and tribulations that life has afflicted him with..

Remembering all the abuse that the society has heaped on him..

Feeling away all the insult and burden that life had thrown in his path...

Was he crying.. There was no way of knowing..

It was a slow form of intoxicating dance…

slowly, rhythmically he danced on.. With the girl shouting and dancing around him..

Suddenly his pace increased and the steps became faster..

It was as if all the pains, the trials and tribulations of his was being washed away by God Himself.. As if the downpour was sent by the Almighty to wash away all his pain.. Rejuvenate him… Resurrect him...

The pace got faster and now both the girl and the old man were dancing away frantically.. What joy, what rapturous delight… what unbound ecstasy both of them had on their face and on their entire being… the dance of the celebration of life itself continued outside…

Suddenly I found myself smiling all this while.. I was really surprised as I had not smiled or laughed for quite some time and was feeling stupid also to be laughing like an idiot…

Suddenly it dawned on me.. Its not the big thing in life like a good job, a better place, a healthy, fat bank statement, a snazzy standard of life which brings happiness to one’s life but it’s the small things in life like these which really makes life worth living.. and also to have the positive outlook to recognise this in all our pain, tribulations and trial… that’s what make life worth living…

suddenly I was crying like a baby…

I called both my teachers in side and served them food and with what delight and gusto they ate… as they wolfed down their food, I wiped my tears and made a resolution that day.. To be happy for each day of the rest of my life, to always be grateful to God and above all to have a positive outlook in life…

So the Shikha that you are looking for got lost somewhere that day and a new Shikha emerged.. I am just carrying out the promise that I made to myself on that day… it has made me happy to see myself making others around me happy and also being happy in their happiness.. I have also made a promise never to allow single moment of pessimism in my entire life and always to look at the brighter side of life… And that’s the whole story of the journey from the old to the new Shikha…

“All the while I was listening to her, I was amazed at the infinite possibility that human spirit is capable of and the huge transformation it is able to carry out in one’s own life as well as the lives of others. I was stirred and moved by Shikha’s story and really felt ashamed for avoiding her in the morning. Said Sudha Murthy

"This is my lesson in life for you. If you want to succeed and be a great man, unlock that goodness within you, that positive energy inside you, which will not only brighten your life but also bring happiness to others life because of you." She finished to a standing ovation from all audience

This is what Sudha Murthy told us one winter evening in January some 6 years ago.. It still echoes and reverberates in my mind and acts like a light post guiding my actions….

That was my first (and not hopefully last) interaction with Sudha Murthy. (For I look forward to meeting the great lady and thank her for making such a lasting impression on me and giving me a guiding light in my life). I have since then not met her or not read her immensely gifted books the latest of which is the “Gently falls the Bakuala”.

One important take away I have taken from that session with Sudha Murthy is thus:

"Never ever allow yourself to be bogged down by life for its you who has the capacity to overcome any odd successfully with a positive attitude, faith in the Almighty and a general goodwill to one and all"