Positive Attitude in life

Right now I am going through a patch in my life, which I will not call a very purple one. This week dad was diagnosed with renal calculi which simply put is stone in the kidney...

My dad who till now has been so healthy and fit... I could never imagine him one day coming under the surgeon's knife...

While all of us try to keep him in good spirit and lively, somewhere all of us have been hit hard by the news...

I personally have been feeling very lonely but being unable to express it to anybody...

Just now when I was feeling very down and out,I remembered one of the talk I had heard from Sudha Murthy...

Those were the days when I went in a contingent representing our state in the National youth Festival at Trivandrum in the January of 2003...

Sudha Murthy was invited as a speaker on one of the days (of the Youth Festival) in the morning but her flight was delayed and she arrived quite late in the afternoon.. She immediately arrived in the stage and got in to a conversation mode.. As she had to leave early she stated her dialogue by introducing herself..

Everything about the way she spoke... The way she presented things and her overall persona reflected so much humility, devoid of any ego or pride...Seeing her I remembered one of the saying in Oriya, which roughly translates in to " The tree, which bears fruit the most bends down the most".

Sudha Murthy started with a plea: not to ask her questions regarding how she met Narayan Murthy, How they fell in love etc etc.

The conversation started with the crowd and people posing a lot of question. And then somebody asked her a question which started the story…

“What keeps you going in life” A young boy from some obscure college was the one who asked the question…

Even when I think now it really amazes me to think the depth which this question had…

Sudha Murthy fell silent for what seemed a long time and then she looked up…

“ I know this is going to be long but I must tell you this story” Said Sudha Murthy. “ This story will be a long one and may be it will be the last discussion which we may have in this forum, but I want you to listen to this story as it carries a valuable lessons for all of us to implement in our respective life” spoke Sudha Murthy in the same solemn tone.

The following is a recollection of all I could remember from the story. I may not vouch for its veracity word by word but what I could vouch is the essence and the beauty of the story which I still could feel whenever I close my eyes and take a deep breath…

Sudha Murthy told us...

“ I joined Engineering College with lots of anticipation and eagerness typical of a fresher. I came from a typical middle class family and was imbued with the value typical of a south Indian family namely to be good to others, to one’s self, work hard and honestly and to have a bright outlook in life.

The 1st day of my college I was allotted my hostel room and could not wait for classes to finish for me to check out my room.. My own room.. Something I could call my own…

Coming from a typical middle class family, we had to share room among ourselves.. To get a room that too to one’s self was a luxury unthinkable by us…

After my classes got over I rushed to the hostel and after some searching got my room. It was a nice little room with a good view from the window… in my excitement I forgot to see some luggage which was being kept there previously… That’s when I saw Shikha…(lets call her Shikha for the sake of anonymity)

“ Who are you” she looked at me angrily and asked.

“ This room has been allotted to me”. I gave back with a vengeance typical of the middle class when pushed to a corner...

“ That Can not be.. This room is allocated to me” She retorted even strongly…

We decided to go to the hostel superintendent so that my due room is given to me (she on the other hand also thought like wise).. When we went to the superintendent she said that the room is on twin sharing basis and belonged to both of us now.. Both of us could not believe our ears but kept quiet as getting an outside accommodation was nearly impossible in that area…

After getting back to the room we waged a silent war against each other and did not talk for some time.. However, I broke the silence as I saw no logical end to this tension given both of us misunderstood the situation initially.. She was somehow skeptic initially but later accepted the truce offer…

Then it was all fun and we would gossip day and night and became very close pals… but suddenly I noticed something in her…

I noticed that whenever we would talk, Shikha would ultimately take to the darker side of everything and would see the negative in everything… initially I used to take it as a one off phenomenon but increasingly noticed that it was a regular trait with her..

Starting from morning when she will wake up and if you say it’s a beautiful morning, she will immediately turn back and say what a lousy morning it is, how the climate here sucks and how it was so good at home.. And she will not stop at that.. She will crib about every single thing in the campus, her daily life and everything else except herself.. Whom she considered to be victim of all the vagaries of nature and man..

Staying thus with Shikha was becoming intolerable with each passing day and more than my study I believed that I will lose the focus in my life as well the positivity that is within me.. I met up with the hostel superintendent and requested for a room change.. As I was a good student and a disciplined one too, the superintendent allotted me another room.. That was the last I knew of Shikha..

I got busy in my schedule, semester exams, practicals etc and almost forgot about Shikha. Then I met Narayan and we fell in love and ultimately got married… eventually we started Infosys..

Long after our college days, when I was working for the company, I got to travel to Goa in a rainy day of August…

Rains can be so unpredictable in this part of the worlds.. After the meeting I was just taking a stroll in the street when suddenly it seemed as if somebody threw a bucketful of water on me from top and I was drenched to the skin all over.. I ran to the nearest shelter (which happened to be a coffee house) and took shelter inside (in the meanwhile the rain outside had suddenly stopped and it was all so very dry outside.. I was flabbergasted)…

I decided to take a hot cup of good coffee before I have another round of hide and seek with the rain god…

that’s when I saw her...

My God.. What would I do now.. Now she would come and pour out all her woes of all these years on me (which will be nothing in comparison to the rain which has ‘poured’ itself on me).. I must do something to escape her attention… just when I was about to escape out side I heard the dreaded voice “Sudha” Sudha”…

I had to stop..

I looked around and saw Shikha standing in front of me.. Not changed a bit and looking the same as college days.. I feigned surprise and we said hello to each other… “Come lets have coffee.. we have a lot of catching up to do..” said Shikha… her voice had an amazing chirpiness and warmth in it..

We sat down to have coffee.. then Shikha stared to pick up the thread where we had left it so many years ago.. And all the while I dreaded the moment.. When all cribbing, negativity and pessimism will gush forth leaving me drenched, exhausted and bitter..

Surprisingly, Shikha has been now talking for last 30 minutes almost on her own (my contribution being a minor nod, a hmmm or a smile) and I could not detect a single tinge of negativity and pessimism in her entire conversation.. It was as if life was a big treat for her.. She was talking away as if she is a girl in a village fair who is amazed to see all the new and wonderful things.. having a ball of a life time…and enjoying it all..

I could control myself no more…

I spluttered it out there and then… “Shikha if you do nt mind may I ask you something.. And forgiver me if I may sound blunt”

“ please go ahead. Ask” said Shikha

“How come I don’t find the old college days Shikha I am so used to.. Where is the girl who used to crib day and night about everything under the sun? I have been hearing you for the last 30 mins and I have not heard a single complaint, grumbling and cribbing from you.. What has happened to the Old Shikha.. I finished in one breath

Shikha smiled sweetly and looked at me.. “It’s a long story and I will only tell you if you promise to stay with me tonight” Said Shikha

I was so curious that I was ready to do the world just to know what had happened to my old friend.. I accompanied her to her house.. After refreshments and all we sat down.. “ Do let me know now na” I was pleading to her like a school girl… Shikha looked at me with admonishing eyes of an elder and I recoiled… “ ok baba , I will tell you.." Said Shikha…

Remember Sudha, how I was in the colleges” said Shikha with a voice which sounded as if coming from a far away land.. “Those were the days when we had lots of family problem in the family going on and all that pressure was affecting me. I completed my B Tech and joined a small company and came to Goa. Those were the rainy season as we have now. And when it rains in Goa it pours around here.. For days people will not be able to get out of houses and all life would come to a standstill.. I so very hated the weather..

Once it rained for 5 days and no body could go out.. I just stayed in the house happily thinking of all the chhutti and the free time I will get away from office.. But the enthusiasm and happiness died around the second day.. By third day I was really irritated, angry and dark humored.. I cursed everything, my job, the weather, Goa, my fate, God etc etc.. While thus irritated I sat near my window and just watched the rain sheer frustration…

That’s when I saw them…

They were both an old man and his grand daughter who begged across the street and had taken shelter on one of the verandah nearby from the rain.. I was seeing them continuously for last 3 days and they had gone without food as there were no ‘business’ for them.. Their face looked pale and they looked famished…

All of a sudden the girl got up ran in to the rain and started getting soaked in to the purest of water and how happy she was.. Suddenly she started dancing..

The grandpa called for her and asked her to come in.. But no amount of cajoling or threat would work.. So the old man was forced to go out and drag her in..

When the old man reached her the girl held on to him by the trunk and pleaded with him to dance with her..

Slowly the old man danced…

thinking of all pain and tribulations that life has afflicted him with..

Remembering all the abuse that the society has heaped on him..

Feeling away all the insult and burden that life had thrown in his path...

Was he crying.. There was no way of knowing..

It was a slow form of intoxicating dance…

slowly, rhythmically he danced on.. With the girl shouting and dancing around him..

Suddenly his pace increased and the steps became faster..

It was as if all the pains, the trials and tribulations of his was being washed away by God Himself.. As if the downpour was sent by the Almighty to wash away all his pain.. Rejuvenate him… Resurrect him...

The pace got faster and now both the girl and the old man were dancing away frantically.. What joy, what rapturous delight… what unbound ecstasy both of them had on their face and on their entire being… the dance of the celebration of life itself continued outside…

Suddenly I found myself smiling all this while.. I was really surprised as I had not smiled or laughed for quite some time and was feeling stupid also to be laughing like an idiot…

Suddenly it dawned on me.. Its not the big thing in life like a good job, a better place, a healthy, fat bank statement, a snazzy standard of life which brings happiness to one’s life but it’s the small things in life like these which really makes life worth living.. and also to have the positive outlook to recognise this in all our pain, tribulations and trial… that’s what make life worth living…

suddenly I was crying like a baby…

I called both my teachers in side and served them food and with what delight and gusto they ate… as they wolfed down their food, I wiped my tears and made a resolution that day.. To be happy for each day of the rest of my life, to always be grateful to God and above all to have a positive outlook in life…

So the Shikha that you are looking for got lost somewhere that day and a new Shikha emerged.. I am just carrying out the promise that I made to myself on that day… it has made me happy to see myself making others around me happy and also being happy in their happiness.. I have also made a promise never to allow single moment of pessimism in my entire life and always to look at the brighter side of life… And that’s the whole story of the journey from the old to the new Shikha…

“All the while I was listening to her, I was amazed at the infinite possibility that human spirit is capable of and the huge transformation it is able to carry out in one’s own life as well as the lives of others. I was stirred and moved by Shikha’s story and really felt ashamed for avoiding her in the morning. Said Sudha Murthy

"This is my lesson in life for you. If you want to succeed and be a great man, unlock that goodness within you, that positive energy inside you, which will not only brighten your life but also bring happiness to others life because of you." She finished to a standing ovation from all audience

This is what Sudha Murthy told us one winter evening in January some 6 years ago.. It still echoes and reverberates in my mind and acts like a light post guiding my actions….

That was my first (and not hopefully last) interaction with Sudha Murthy. (For I look forward to meeting the great lady and thank her for making such a lasting impression on me and giving me a guiding light in my life). I have since then not met her or not read her immensely gifted books the latest of which is the “Gently falls the Bakuala”.

One important take away I have taken from that session with Sudha Murthy is thus:

"Never ever allow yourself to be bogged down by life for its you who has the capacity to overcome any odd successfully with a positive attitude, faith in the Almighty and a general goodwill to one and all"