Happiness in relationships

Continuing on the theme of happiness and the intricacy of how, where and when we can get it, I must share my feelings here...

For last few days, in fact for last 1 year I have a strange aloofness from relationships in a way which is somewhere closer to the self detachment as prophesised by the Mahatma himself... Well you may think it a bit going over the board but again I am being totally honest here...

Talking about my previous self, I was really concerned about what people might think about the way I interacted with them, the way I worked and in fact the way I functioned.. I used to really get concerned about whether I have offended anyone or or put off anybody with anything... Not any more... (Though here I must emphasise the fact that I am very concerned and particular about not hurting people intentionally)...

Over a period of time I have come to realise that no matter what you do and how much more you strive, you will not be able to please everybody all the time... There will be some voices of dissatisfaction, disgruntlement and anger from some corner..

What I have come to realise is the fact that whatever little time we have been given by providence to spend in our earthly life, we should be happy and make others happy and overall create a happy ambiance to one's self...

I firmly believe that everybody has a right to happiness and of spending his/her life in peace, tranquility and contentment... Hence i refuse to be part of a relationship which continuously seeks to hurt me and never at any point of time gives back anything in return... Simply put, I refuse to be in a selfish relationship which only demands a never ending list of things to be done at my end but in return is very quiet about the deliverable that they have to deliver from their end...

I strongly believe human relationship to be a much more mutual one and more of a give and take affair... In a relationship, each person/party has to cover the same distance (if not more) and has to do what is expected of each before true happiness can be had from the given relationship...

I always tell this to people I love: People who care for you will never hurt you and those who hurt you will never care for you...

Before anybody among you run away with the notion that all is not well in heaven for me... Lemme correct you here in saying that indeed everything is well in heaven for me... This is just my sharing of experience from my life about how I see things... ;)

What is happiness?

Another peep in to the deep recesses of human complexities and what they mean by the term happiness from Paulo Coelho. It indeed struck me as how we all pretend to be happy while in reality very few of us are 'really' happy. In the daily mad rush of life when sustenance and maintaining a certain standard of living becomes the foremost goal, when the destination becomes more important than the journey, when matter takes precedence over man in one's priority in life... in such an existence human being is reduced to a machine performing mechanical functions of what is being programmed in to it...

Here is the excerpt of the writing from the great man...

This is a question that has not bothered me for a long time, precisely because I don’t know how to answer it. I am not the only one. Through all these years I have lived with all sorts of people: rich and poor, powerful and mediocre. In the eyes of all who have crossed my path – and here I include warriors and wise men, people who should have nothing to complain about - I have always found that there was something missing. Some people seem to be happy: they just do not think about it. Others make plans: “I’m going to have a husband, a home, two children, and a house in the country”. While this keeps them occupied, they are like bulls looking for the bullfighter: they don’t think, they just keep moving forward. They manage to get their car - sometimes even a Ferrari – and they think that the meaning of life lies there, so they never ask the question. Yet, despite all that, their eyes betray a sadness that they themselves are quite unaware of.

I don’t know if everyone is unhappy. I do know that people are always busy: working overtime, looking after the kids, the husband, the career, the university degree, what to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, whatever it is they need to have in order not to feel inferior, and so on. Few people have ever told me: “I’m unhappy”. Most say: “I’m fine, I’ve managed to get all I ever wanted”. So then I ask: “What makes you happy?” They answer: “I have everything that a person can dream of – a family, a home, work, good health”. I ask again: “Have you ever stopped to wonder if that is all there is to life?” They answer: “Yes, that’s all there is”. I insist: “So the meaning of life is work, the family, children who grow up and leave you, a wife or husband who will become more like a friend than a true love-mate. And one day the work will come to an end. What will you do when that happens?” They answer: there is no answer. They change the subject. But there is always something hidden there: the owner of a firm who has still to close the deal he has always dreamed of, the housewife who would like to have more Independence or more money, the new graduate who wonders whether he has chosen his career or has had it chosen for him, the dentist who wanted to be a singer, the singer who wanted to be a politician, the politician who wanted to be a writer, and the writer who wanted to be a peasant...

In this street where I am sit writing this column and looking at the people passing by, I bet that everyone is feeling the same thing. That elegant woman who has just walked by spends her days trying to stop time, controlling the bathroom scales, because she thinks love depends on that. On the other side of the street I see a couple with two children. They live moments of intense happiness when they go out with their kids, but at the same time their subconscious is busy thinking about the job they might not get, the tragedies that might occur, how to get over them, how to protect themselves from the world.

I leaf through magazines filled with famous people: everybody laughing, everybody very happy. But since this is a segment of society that I am quite familiar with, I know it is not like that: everyone is laughing or enjoying themselves at the moment that photo is taken, but at night, or in the morning, the story is always quite different. “What can I do to keep on appearing in the magazine?”, “how can I disguise not having enough money to afford all this luxury?” or “how can I manage this life of splendor to make it even more luxurious, more expressive than other people’s?”, “the actress whom I am seen with in this photo, laughing and having a great time, she could steal my part tomorrow!”, or “I wonder if my clothes are nicer than hers. Why do we smile so much if we loathe one another?”

To end, I recall the words of Jorge Luis Borges: “I will not be happy any more, but that doesn’t matter, / there are many other things in this world”.

The good Samaratian

Driving in the roads of Hyderabad can be nightmarish sometime as the traffic is so unpredictable and more so with the auto rickshaw which seems to jump out of no where and block your way... there are 2 options in such situation.. either screech to a halt by applying break suddenly (if you are attentive enough) or the other one is a much painful one where you just smash in to them causing damage to both the vehicles apart from injuries....

Yesterday, when I was coming back from my sister's house, one such 3 wheeled monster jumped right in front of me from the side and tried to overtake me.. I cursed under my breath as I screeched to a halt.. I cursed all auto rickshaws of Hyderabad under my breath and drove away..

Suddenly I remembered Shiva then...

It was the summer of 2004 when I set out for Mumbai with loads of dreams in my eye for appearing in the selection test of the Premier Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS)... I along with one of my senior took the Konark express from Bhubaneswar to Mumbai... To our pleasant surprise we also found out that one of my college teacher (who used to teach us Zoology) was also on the train along with his daughter and incidentally they were also going to TISS for the same selection test.. It was a pleasant coincidence and we set out from Bhubanesawr with the anticipation of a pleasant journey to Mumbai... In the coach also we met a young Marathi doctor by the name Gajanan from Solapur who was working in Orissa in some private company... We all had great time together as we chit chatted throughout the way and our teacher would reminisces on the old days and how student of today are spoiled and lack the dedication of our generation...

The next day we reached Secunderabad at about mid day and the train reached the station on platform no. 7. As Ganjanan was a frequent traveler he told us that the train would stay for about half an hour and we could stretch our limbs and also could go to platform no. 1.. As my senior wanted to purchase some medicine, we decided to go to platform no. 1... In platform no. 1 when we looked across we could not see our train as there were many trains which were there in the intermediary platforms.. Hence we relied on the public address system and went about the purchase of my senior's medicine.. one work after another cropped up for all of us and before we knew nearly 20 mins. had passed and we all scrambled back to platform no. 7....

But the platform was empty and our train had left...

perplexed and confused we looked at each other in utter disbelief and bewilderment... We came early but yet the train had left.. How this can possibly happen.. We asked railway workers nearby and they explained that sometimes if a train is running late, it leaves the platform earlier than scheduled.. true enough... the train was running late already.. but then they must have announced it in the P.A system.. How could we not hear it?.... Now what will we do? all of us were in our shorts and sleep-in trousers.. all our belonging was in the train including our certificates, clothes et al...

We rushed to the station master to enquire if there is any way the train can be alerted about these developments so that at least in the next station they debunk our luggage which we then can collect.. the station master though sympathetic to our plight expressed his inability to do so as it was not permissible officially... In desperation we rushed outside and were thinking what to do...

Thats when we heard a very soothing voice...

"Kya hua saab... train chhut gayee kya?"

We noticed a auto driver in his early twenties asking us with concerned face...

We nodded in agreement... He found out the train's name and told us if we rush to the next station (I think it was Begumpet) then we may catch it... However, in the entire conversation he never suggested that we may take his auto for this dash...

Seeing his helpful nature, we decided to hire him and hopped in to his auto.. He drove like a mad bull, bypassing motorist and much to our embarrassment, traffic signals... We reached Begumepet station but found out that the train had left the station just a few moments ago...

Refusing to give up Shiva ( for that was his name) asked us to sit in the auto and thought of chasing the train to the next station from which we dissuaded him.. Gajanan then told us if we can go by road fast enough to a place called Wadi Junction(about 4 hours drive from there) then we may be able to catch the train which stays for some 30 mins in that station (as it is a big junction)...

Then again we turned to our hero Shiva and asked him to take us to some taxi which will take us.. He obediently obliged and took us to them... However, we had little luck here also as most taxi driver said that with the traffic of Hyderabad city, it would take nearly 1 to 2 hours to hit the highway and from there it would take another 4 hours by which time the train already would have left Wadi..

Then Gajanan had an idea... He decided to call his brother and asked him to come to the station at Solapur, inform my teacher about how we have missed the train, break the chains (binding our luggages together), and unload his luggage and hand over our luggage to my teacher.. Further he was instructed to wait for Gajanan in Solapur station....

We asked Shiva and he informed us that the next train to Mumbai was the Charminar express and if we hurry we may get on it... As all of were in so run down condition with even our cash and everything in the train, we had only barely enough to either pay off Shiva (by the way he had a bill of Rs. 350 for the entire period) or buy us tickets in the general compartment of the next train...

As happens in most city, so also in Hyderabad, some owners travel with the auto along with the driver to check on cheating by the driver.. So also was the case with Shiva who had a nosey owner with him... " Haan saab haan, chalo Rs. 350 de do... Hum ko jaana hey.." said solemnly Shiva's owner... We were quite and could not say anything... This asking for money went on for some time...

"Aap rehendo.." Said Shiva to his owner , now stepping in to the conversation. " aap saab jaa kar ticket khareed lo, nahin toh train chhut jaayegi" then as if chiding his owner he said " itni musibat aap logon pe aa gayee hey.. aap log jaldi ticket karke jaao aur exams do.." he said in all sincerity and earnestness and told his owner that he will work extra time that day to give him back that money...

we were all moved by his act of generosity and kindness. We were amazed to see the magnanimity and humaneness which an ordinary auto driver can have when put to extraordinary circumstances..

We bought ticket, took his mobile number and address and promised to pay up on our return...

"Koyee baat nahin hey saab, aap log thik thak pahunch jaao aur jis kaam ke liye jaa rahey ho ho jaye, itna kaafi hey" He said in his own simplistic and unassuming way.. We were all weighed down with the burden of his kindness...

We reached Mumbai in the wee hours of the next day and found my teacher with our luggage.. All of us got a good scolding for being so careless and reckless.. Nevertheless we were happy to find back our possessions and left for TISS..

After the screening test, I returned back home.. Before I started for home from Mumbai I called up and gave Shiva the train name and the coach number...

Right there he was standing on the platform and smiling at me as my train reached Secunderabad...

"Saab kaise hain... Aur kaam sab thik thak ho gaya na" Asked the ever ebullient Shiva..

I told him that we have given the exam and the rest is left to God's design..

"Chinta nakko karo saab... aap ka zaroor ho jaayega.." Said Shiva confidently and I said a silent amen to it..

"Main aapke liye thoda biryani le aata hoon.. said Shiva and started to make way for fetching Biryaani... as he was leaving thus I caught hold of him and hugged him tightly..

"Rehne do dost, itna ehsaan aap kiye ho.. ab aur ehsaan kay bojh humare upar mat daalo..." I said as tears of gratitude rolled from my eyes uanabshedly...

I gave him the money we owed to him but he was not at all prepared to take it.. After much cajoling and convincing he took it rather reluctantly...

"Kabhi bhi aap saab Hyderabd aao toh mujhko zarror phone karna.. aap ko mein ghar leke jaata.." he shouted above all the din and noise as my train was leaving..

I saw the most richest man in the world that day standing in the platform and waving goodbye to me.. That day Shiva taught me that man is capable of doing immense good to his fellow human being... Only what is required is a big, kind lion heart of people like Shiva who though are poor but have never let go of the richness of their soul which shines forth like pure gold...

Few days after I got the result of TISS and my name was there, right on top of the list. Neither my senior nor any other person I knew had made it that year.. It was as if a vindication of what Shiva said

"Chinta nakko karo saab... aap ka zaroor ho jaayega.."

After that I have tried calling him several times but without success and still to this day hope that if somehow I bump in to him I will tell him the later part of the story and tell him how unknowingly he has been instrumental in shaping my life in to what it is today...

There are many Shivas in this world who just selflessly carry out small act of kindness which more often than not goes unacknowledged.. These are the kind gentle souls who though suffer themselves but learn to serve selflessly and try to alleviate the pains of others... A great lesson to all of us on our role in this world and towards humankind....

1408

Watched 1408 on Star Movies on Sunday. Though it was a Sunday night when I am supposed to fall back to my weekday work routine (by going early to sleep so that I wake up early on Monday and not be late for office) , this compelling movie forced me to wake up till 1 a.m in the night in what happened to be one of the best horror movie I have ever seen...

The plot unfolds with Mike Enslin (John Cusack) who is a writer writing in the genre of the ghost and paranormal... He has a panache for debunking supernatural occurrences after the untimely death of his daughter Katie.

After hearing from people the rumour of a hunted room numbered 1408 in the famous Dolphin Hotel in New York, he decides to visit the hotel armed with all legal know-how of securing the particular room as it was also heard that the hotel management never rents out that particular room to anybody. The manager of the hotel, is a man who has seen enough death and destruction in that room to allow anybody to even step in to it and tries out all trick in the book to ensure Enslin does not check in to that particular room. Adeptly portrayed by the seasoned Samuel L. Jackson the whole negotiation was brilliantly done with Jackson trying to dissuade Cussack in to checking in to that room but ultimately gives in to Cussack's adamant stand and also to the fear of a legal backlash on denying a guest a room when it is available...

After Enslin checks in the movie goes in to a total roller coaster ride as Cussack starts hearing noise, sees ghostly apparition, blood curdling imagery which sends chill down the spine.. My best moments are when he tries to rip off the radio from the plug (when it starts to play on its own) and even then the radio continues to play on...the other being when Enslin cries out to somebody on the front building to help him out and sees a person like him standing there and mimicking him in what happens to be a mirror image replication of his own activity..Among all such bizarre happening is the specter of him meeting with his father who is long dead and meeting his dead daughter who cries out "Daddy, Daddy" to him, he holds her in his arm and ultimately Katie dies in his arms yet again and suddenly turns in to dust..


After all the various forms of horror which seems to go on and on, Enslin decides to break this cycle by setting fire with the help of the Cognac he had with him and is rescued by the fire fighting team... He recovers and completes the novel on his recent experience.. Suddenly his wife Lilly finds and hands him a bag containing the remnants of his possession from the fire tragedy... A voice recorder he had with him...And he decides to play it..

In the entire movie every now and then Enslin would take a swig of the Cognac handed to him by the hotel manager and suddenly he remembers that the hotel manager may have mixed some chemical with some hallucinating substance.. I think that was the master piece as I am sure most of the audience (myself included) believed the same till the end...

Coming back to the voice recorder, on being played it plays out his various delirious conversation in to the recorder and his attempt to stay sane in that room in a time which seemed to be a distant past for him now.....

thats when we all hear the voice of his daughter Katie from the voice recorder which calls out "Daddy, Daddy"...

And the movie ends with deathly horror written all over the couple's face....

Best horror movie recommended over the week end and ensure that somebody is with you and you are not alone.... Not surely for the faint hearted...

The magic instant

	Another pearl of wisdom from Paulo Coelho whose update " The Warrior of Light" I get regularly. These are the types of inspiration that keeps one going in life. A must read article the excerpts of which are quoted below: "We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself. Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant. It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles. Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith. Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.” Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed. We must listen to the child that we once were, and who still lives within us. This child understands about magic instants. We can muffle his sobbing, but we can’t hush his voice. If we aren’t reborn, if we don’t see life again with the innocence and enthusiasm of childhood, then there is no more sense to living. There are many ways to commit suicide. Those who try to kill their body offend God’s law. Those who try to kill their soul also offend God’s law, although their crime is less visible to the eyes of man. Let us be heedful of what the child within us has to say. Let’s not feel ashamed of it. Let’s not allow it to feel afraid, because it’s lonely and is scarcely ever heard. Let’s allow the child within us to take the reins of our existence a little. This child says that one day is different from another. Let’s make the child feel loved again. Let’s please this child – even if it means acting in a way that we’re not used to, even if it seems foolish in the eyes of others. Remember that the wisdom of men is madness before God. If we listen to the child we bear in our soul, our eyes will shine once more. If we don’t lose contact with this child, we won’t lose contact with life..."

Nature creature

Day before yesterday when I was driving down the road towards my apartment, I was suddenly taken aback with the beauty, calm and serenity of the locality that I leave in...

To make matter more clear, I live almost at the outskirt of Hyderabad city near the Golconda Fort... (The Fort is visible from my balcony and terrace and is a joy to watch each evening with the sun going down)

The entire place is an army cantonment area with the Artillery Centre of the Indian Army situated in it... Though the place has seen a lot of ravages in the last 6 months (due to road widening work in what happened to be a thickly green area with old trees providing the road with their shadow on both sides of the road) however thanks to the cantonment area and the thick green cover in terms of tree planted by the army, the area has not lost all of its charm...

Apart from the historical siginficance, the area is also famous for the Gandipet lake (which is the main source of drinking water for the burgeoning city) water park, Children's fun world, lush green resorts etc etc which makes it a popular weekend destination for all and sundry....

So what I was saying was that it never stuck me how beautiful my surrounding ambience was until yesterday...

All my life I have longed to live in such a locality with calm, serenity and peace reigning all the while... Yet when I got to stay in a similar locality I could never really notice it even after staying here so long.. May be in the hustle and bustle of daily life I have somewhere forgotten to enjoy and appreciate the sheer beauty of the place that I live in... Each day I drive to and fro to my flat without realising the rich beauty which surrounds me..

Thinking of nature, beauty and serenity I am transported to another world when I was a kid and we used to live (and still do ) in an area called Tulasipur at Cuttack which was relatively less populated with most convent and missionary schools located there... I still remember with fondness the walk that we as a family used to take through this beautiful locality with the church bells chiming in the background, a stray cuckoo singing in its beautiful tone, or of the calmness in the park by the river Mahanadi which did not have a big crowd and where we could play the see- saw, the swing and run around to our heart's content... I still remember how I used to get afraid by the mighty banyan tree with its roots hanging down.. in the darkness it used to give the impression of an old man sitting by the side of the road with his beard down...

Coupled with this I also have fond memory of my school days of traveling by this roads in rickshaw in wintery evening (when the evenings would set in early) and how we would sit in the rickshaw all petrified till we reached home...

Thinking of all the past blissful time I had with nature and the sheer joy of being in such a surrounding, my mind goes back to a poem titled "Stopping by woods on a snowy evening" by Robert Frost which I read during my school days and I quote below:

"Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. "

Positive Attitude in life

Right now I am going through a patch in my life, which I will not call a very purple one. This week dad was diagnosed with renal calculi which simply put is stone in the kidney...

My dad who till now has been so healthy and fit... I could never imagine him one day coming under the surgeon's knife...

While all of us try to keep him in good spirit and lively, somewhere all of us have been hit hard by the news...

I personally have been feeling very lonely but being unable to express it to anybody...

Just now when I was feeling very down and out,I remembered one of the talk I had heard from Sudha Murthy...

Those were the days when I went in a contingent representing our state in the National youth Festival at Trivandrum in the January of 2003...

Sudha Murthy was invited as a speaker on one of the days (of the Youth Festival) in the morning but her flight was delayed and she arrived quite late in the afternoon.. She immediately arrived in the stage and got in to a conversation mode.. As she had to leave early she stated her dialogue by introducing herself..

Everything about the way she spoke... The way she presented things and her overall persona reflected so much humility, devoid of any ego or pride...Seeing her I remembered one of the saying in Oriya, which roughly translates in to " The tree, which bears fruit the most bends down the most".

Sudha Murthy started with a plea: not to ask her questions regarding how she met Narayan Murthy, How they fell in love etc etc.

The conversation started with the crowd and people posing a lot of question. And then somebody asked her a question which started the story…

“What keeps you going in life” A young boy from some obscure college was the one who asked the question…

Even when I think now it really amazes me to think the depth which this question had…

Sudha Murthy fell silent for what seemed a long time and then she looked up…

“ I know this is going to be long but I must tell you this story” Said Sudha Murthy. “ This story will be a long one and may be it will be the last discussion which we may have in this forum, but I want you to listen to this story as it carries a valuable lessons for all of us to implement in our respective life” spoke Sudha Murthy in the same solemn tone.

The following is a recollection of all I could remember from the story. I may not vouch for its veracity word by word but what I could vouch is the essence and the beauty of the story which I still could feel whenever I close my eyes and take a deep breath…

Sudha Murthy told us...

“ I joined Engineering College with lots of anticipation and eagerness typical of a fresher. I came from a typical middle class family and was imbued with the value typical of a south Indian family namely to be good to others, to one’s self, work hard and honestly and to have a bright outlook in life.

The 1st day of my college I was allotted my hostel room and could not wait for classes to finish for me to check out my room.. My own room.. Something I could call my own…

Coming from a typical middle class family, we had to share room among ourselves.. To get a room that too to one’s self was a luxury unthinkable by us…

After my classes got over I rushed to the hostel and after some searching got my room. It was a nice little room with a good view from the window… in my excitement I forgot to see some luggage which was being kept there previously… That’s when I saw Shikha…(lets call her Shikha for the sake of anonymity)

“ Who are you” she looked at me angrily and asked.

“ This room has been allotted to me”. I gave back with a vengeance typical of the middle class when pushed to a corner...

“ That Can not be.. This room is allocated to me” She retorted even strongly…

We decided to go to the hostel superintendent so that my due room is given to me (she on the other hand also thought like wise).. When we went to the superintendent she said that the room is on twin sharing basis and belonged to both of us now.. Both of us could not believe our ears but kept quiet as getting an outside accommodation was nearly impossible in that area…

After getting back to the room we waged a silent war against each other and did not talk for some time.. However, I broke the silence as I saw no logical end to this tension given both of us misunderstood the situation initially.. She was somehow skeptic initially but later accepted the truce offer…

Then it was all fun and we would gossip day and night and became very close pals… but suddenly I noticed something in her…

I noticed that whenever we would talk, Shikha would ultimately take to the darker side of everything and would see the negative in everything… initially I used to take it as a one off phenomenon but increasingly noticed that it was a regular trait with her..

Starting from morning when she will wake up and if you say it’s a beautiful morning, she will immediately turn back and say what a lousy morning it is, how the climate here sucks and how it was so good at home.. And she will not stop at that.. She will crib about every single thing in the campus, her daily life and everything else except herself.. Whom she considered to be victim of all the vagaries of nature and man..

Staying thus with Shikha was becoming intolerable with each passing day and more than my study I believed that I will lose the focus in my life as well the positivity that is within me.. I met up with the hostel superintendent and requested for a room change.. As I was a good student and a disciplined one too, the superintendent allotted me another room.. That was the last I knew of Shikha..

I got busy in my schedule, semester exams, practicals etc and almost forgot about Shikha. Then I met Narayan and we fell in love and ultimately got married… eventually we started Infosys..

Long after our college days, when I was working for the company, I got to travel to Goa in a rainy day of August…

Rains can be so unpredictable in this part of the worlds.. After the meeting I was just taking a stroll in the street when suddenly it seemed as if somebody threw a bucketful of water on me from top and I was drenched to the skin all over.. I ran to the nearest shelter (which happened to be a coffee house) and took shelter inside (in the meanwhile the rain outside had suddenly stopped and it was all so very dry outside.. I was flabbergasted)…

I decided to take a hot cup of good coffee before I have another round of hide and seek with the rain god…

that’s when I saw her...

My God.. What would I do now.. Now she would come and pour out all her woes of all these years on me (which will be nothing in comparison to the rain which has ‘poured’ itself on me).. I must do something to escape her attention… just when I was about to escape out side I heard the dreaded voice “Sudha” Sudha”…

I had to stop..

I looked around and saw Shikha standing in front of me.. Not changed a bit and looking the same as college days.. I feigned surprise and we said hello to each other… “Come lets have coffee.. we have a lot of catching up to do..” said Shikha… her voice had an amazing chirpiness and warmth in it..

We sat down to have coffee.. then Shikha stared to pick up the thread where we had left it so many years ago.. And all the while I dreaded the moment.. When all cribbing, negativity and pessimism will gush forth leaving me drenched, exhausted and bitter..

Surprisingly, Shikha has been now talking for last 30 minutes almost on her own (my contribution being a minor nod, a hmmm or a smile) and I could not detect a single tinge of negativity and pessimism in her entire conversation.. It was as if life was a big treat for her.. She was talking away as if she is a girl in a village fair who is amazed to see all the new and wonderful things.. having a ball of a life time…and enjoying it all..

I could control myself no more…

I spluttered it out there and then… “Shikha if you do nt mind may I ask you something.. And forgiver me if I may sound blunt”

“ please go ahead. Ask” said Shikha

“How come I don’t find the old college days Shikha I am so used to.. Where is the girl who used to crib day and night about everything under the sun? I have been hearing you for the last 30 mins and I have not heard a single complaint, grumbling and cribbing from you.. What has happened to the Old Shikha.. I finished in one breath

Shikha smiled sweetly and looked at me.. “It’s a long story and I will only tell you if you promise to stay with me tonight” Said Shikha

I was so curious that I was ready to do the world just to know what had happened to my old friend.. I accompanied her to her house.. After refreshments and all we sat down.. “ Do let me know now na” I was pleading to her like a school girl… Shikha looked at me with admonishing eyes of an elder and I recoiled… “ ok baba , I will tell you.." Said Shikha…

Remember Sudha, how I was in the colleges” said Shikha with a voice which sounded as if coming from a far away land.. “Those were the days when we had lots of family problem in the family going on and all that pressure was affecting me. I completed my B Tech and joined a small company and came to Goa. Those were the rainy season as we have now. And when it rains in Goa it pours around here.. For days people will not be able to get out of houses and all life would come to a standstill.. I so very hated the weather..

Once it rained for 5 days and no body could go out.. I just stayed in the house happily thinking of all the chhutti and the free time I will get away from office.. But the enthusiasm and happiness died around the second day.. By third day I was really irritated, angry and dark humored.. I cursed everything, my job, the weather, Goa, my fate, God etc etc.. While thus irritated I sat near my window and just watched the rain sheer frustration…

That’s when I saw them…

They were both an old man and his grand daughter who begged across the street and had taken shelter on one of the verandah nearby from the rain.. I was seeing them continuously for last 3 days and they had gone without food as there were no ‘business’ for them.. Their face looked pale and they looked famished…

All of a sudden the girl got up ran in to the rain and started getting soaked in to the purest of water and how happy she was.. Suddenly she started dancing..

The grandpa called for her and asked her to come in.. But no amount of cajoling or threat would work.. So the old man was forced to go out and drag her in..

When the old man reached her the girl held on to him by the trunk and pleaded with him to dance with her..

Slowly the old man danced…

thinking of all pain and tribulations that life has afflicted him with..

Remembering all the abuse that the society has heaped on him..

Feeling away all the insult and burden that life had thrown in his path...

Was he crying.. There was no way of knowing..

It was a slow form of intoxicating dance…

slowly, rhythmically he danced on.. With the girl shouting and dancing around him..

Suddenly his pace increased and the steps became faster..

It was as if all the pains, the trials and tribulations of his was being washed away by God Himself.. As if the downpour was sent by the Almighty to wash away all his pain.. Rejuvenate him… Resurrect him...

The pace got faster and now both the girl and the old man were dancing away frantically.. What joy, what rapturous delight… what unbound ecstasy both of them had on their face and on their entire being… the dance of the celebration of life itself continued outside…

Suddenly I found myself smiling all this while.. I was really surprised as I had not smiled or laughed for quite some time and was feeling stupid also to be laughing like an idiot…

Suddenly it dawned on me.. Its not the big thing in life like a good job, a better place, a healthy, fat bank statement, a snazzy standard of life which brings happiness to one’s life but it’s the small things in life like these which really makes life worth living.. and also to have the positive outlook to recognise this in all our pain, tribulations and trial… that’s what make life worth living…

suddenly I was crying like a baby…

I called both my teachers in side and served them food and with what delight and gusto they ate… as they wolfed down their food, I wiped my tears and made a resolution that day.. To be happy for each day of the rest of my life, to always be grateful to God and above all to have a positive outlook in life…

So the Shikha that you are looking for got lost somewhere that day and a new Shikha emerged.. I am just carrying out the promise that I made to myself on that day… it has made me happy to see myself making others around me happy and also being happy in their happiness.. I have also made a promise never to allow single moment of pessimism in my entire life and always to look at the brighter side of life… And that’s the whole story of the journey from the old to the new Shikha…

“All the while I was listening to her, I was amazed at the infinite possibility that human spirit is capable of and the huge transformation it is able to carry out in one’s own life as well as the lives of others. I was stirred and moved by Shikha’s story and really felt ashamed for avoiding her in the morning. Said Sudha Murthy

"This is my lesson in life for you. If you want to succeed and be a great man, unlock that goodness within you, that positive energy inside you, which will not only brighten your life but also bring happiness to others life because of you." She finished to a standing ovation from all audience

This is what Sudha Murthy told us one winter evening in January some 6 years ago.. It still echoes and reverberates in my mind and acts like a light post guiding my actions….

That was my first (and not hopefully last) interaction with Sudha Murthy. (For I look forward to meeting the great lady and thank her for making such a lasting impression on me and giving me a guiding light in my life). I have since then not met her or not read her immensely gifted books the latest of which is the “Gently falls the Bakuala”.

One important take away I have taken from that session with Sudha Murthy is thus:

"Never ever allow yourself to be bogged down by life for its you who has the capacity to overcome any odd successfully with a positive attitude, faith in the Almighty and a general goodwill to one and all"