The quirky fate

Just after 1 day of drafting this post, I came across the address of Michael Lewis at Princeton on the vital role that luck plays to what happens to be the most important aspect of our life - success. As luck would have it, here I had keyed in a post on luck but albeit on a different aspect of life - love, loss and conquest.

Have you ever believed in divine intervention? The thing that people term as the invisible hand or the doing of the gods? The advocates of rationality will argue that there is no such thing... Everything has a cause and an effect.. While the believers will say that indeed it is the only way which ensures things are in perpetuity and continuity... How else do you explain infants/children surviving aircraft crash or natural disasters... A passenger missing his chance to board a train which meets with a terrible accident later or even KKR winning the final ;) 

Jokes apart, this is a topic which has intrigued me in more ways than one... What is that X-factor which ensures fortune swings your way when there is every likelihood of it turning the other way...Such incidence takes me far away to an era where I was still a student (believe me, there was such an era too! ;)

It was during the days when I was doing my medicine and had recently got transferred from a lesser known college to the best college of the state (which was again closer to home)... This was like a dream come true and I was more than happy to join the graduating class of 2004 in the 1st year (1st year was an ambiguous term for what happened to be an actual duration of 1 and a half years in the curriculum)... I still remember the Month of April, 1999 when I joined the class...

The class consisted of students equally represented across gender (and that means male and female only!)... A bright lot, it was an inspiring experience to be one among the best with them... The class was divided in to pairs (not study pairs!) of boy and girl at various points in the friend-buddy-soul buddy-lover continuum...However, what was intriguing was just this one girl...

This girl, for the sake on unanimity, lets call her Mamta, was different from the rest... Though dusky in colour (God! how much our country places a premium on fair colour;)), Mamta had a glow of radiance and aura about her which was mystic, distant and yet had an alluring charm to it... Being a new comer I was also taken in by her charm (as I had just come from a college which had a very poor repertoire of such beauty to boast of) but for the records resisted it to pursue mundane activities like academic excellence...

The thing with boys and for that matter men is that unlike the fairer sex (who are just busy praising each other in a till-death-do-us-part way or cat fighting among theme selves) they just have only one topic to discuss about- and you are wrong... Its anatomy.. for that was the dreaded subject in 1st year and of course girls.. ah... now I see... You got the drift... Any ways, as luck would have it, I struck an instantaneous friendship with the boy gang and was welcomed with open arms.. Instantly all of us fell in to the hot topics which included the one discussed here too...

In the course of the discussion, I came to know that although most of the chaps were paired/stuck with one girl or the other, Mamta was one who had kept herself away from such bonding.. In fact, soon enough I found out that most of the guys were totally smitten by her and were at various points in the lover-crazy lover-maniac lover-psychopath continuum... No I am dead serious here... It was famously narrated that one chap was so enamored by her that he shut himself close in the room for close to a week when the final rejection came... There was another, who though spurned, would regularly cut cake and gave out chocolates to all and sundry in the hostel on the day of her birthday... There was another one, who threw himself down... now, now, hold it... he threw himself down from the bed when the final word of denial came...

Such was the might and influence of Mamta that let alone our batch, even our seniors were bewitched by her... I still remember a very married senior pursuing his post grads would come in the scorching heat of the afternoon on some pre text or the other so that he could give her a lift from the ladies hostel to the nearest kirnana shop which was not more than 200 m away... I have seen seniors (both grads and post grads) fight like nitwits among themselves just to be near her...

With such a long queue of her fan and her ephemeral charm, Mamata literally could have anybody she wanted but kept herself away from such activities... Such abstinence and abstaining mutli folded her love for the multitude of her lovers who would be happy for months if not years if she as much as glance at them and/or smiled (even though it was meant for a fellow batch mate or other friends from the ladies hostel who may be behind)... Though many of them knew about this reality few acknowledged it and feigned/pretended as if it was meant for them...

Now to cut a long story short, Mamta remained 'single' and was not ready to 'mingle'...

Then entered the real hero....He was a 5 ft 2 in bald, pot bellied caricature of a human being who spoke in a shrill womanly voice... He was supposedly the topper of the P.G entrance that year... Having come from a private college, rumours were rife that he has done some serious under the table dealing for the seat as well as the position... Be that as it may, our hero was an ambitious and colourful person and was such a powerful package who to be seen to be believed... As he entered the campus and the hostel, he declared gleefully that he will charm and befriend the most 'happening babe' in the college... Pathetic as it may sound, we had no option but to nod our head in agreement as being juniors we were the gullible audience :(

Our hero proved himself to be quite the worthless rogue that he was in academics within the first fortnight... However, what he proved himself to be worthy was his earlier promise which he had made... He was quick to identify the most "happening babe' who happened to be the jewel of our batch... Then with the utmost of sincerity he launched himself in to the "Mission Impossible" of wooing her... Firstly as any unsuspecting wooer, he approached her directly only to be rejected in the most strongest of words possible... We have seen many guys getting rejected at the hands of Mamta, but never before has a rejection been this strong... We thought our hero had it... that either he will reform and concentrate more on studies or pack his bags and be off... As competition waited patiently to see his back, our hero had designs of his own...

Withe a strange stubbornness which one can but associate with fools, he pursued her relentlessly wherever she went only to be chided in the harshest word possible... Words which will put the fear of the almighty in you... But our hero was made up of sterner stuff... He tried formula no. 444... The friends route...

One must appreciate the kind of groundwork he did here.. He not only found out her friends, but also who were "the best friends" to her... A complete stoppage of all activity (during the groundwork)was cheering up the competition brigade to the level of ecstatic joy totally unaware of the final assault that the wily general was planning... Having identified 2 of her best friends, the hero focused all his attention on both of them... so come breakfast, they will find him waiting with delicacy "from home" each day which every time somoehow coincided with products from in the next door sweet shop... He was also careful in understanding their likes and dislikes and showered gifts on them and the occasion would pop up like club soda - his b'day, his sis b'day' relatives 'b'day etc etc... However both the friends (hailing from a certain business section known for their 'austerity') were more than happy to accept it without finding out the reason behind it... So come new academic year, they will find new books (hardbound medical books especially purchased from Calcutta costing minimum of 2000 bucks apiece), stethoscope, Blood pressure machine, diagnostic tool (knee hammer, ENT sets etc) finding its way to their study table literally as surprise gifts... The man was like a consummate Santa Claus giving away free gifts... The only difference was that the benefactor for this Santa Claus was just limited to 2 only... 

What such investment meant was that such 'benevolence' created a 'tinge' of sympathy in the heart of the so called sisters (now he has made them his sisters) for their "cutey lovable" brother... In retrospect, the world could have gained a lot had they taken advise of this astute investor in preventing the economic slowdown witnessed after dumb jackass people calling them selves investment bakers brought the financial world to a grinding halt...

Each day the sisters would carry tales of heartbreak, sobs and tears (running nose and phlegm not withstanding) to Mamta who will look at them with an expression "even- if- he- is- that- last- person- with-whom- I- would- have- to fall- in- love, I- would -never- do- it". Though I do not have professional training in human psychology, but I could tell you this with some amount of confidence that here ladies and gentleman, was a fine game of peer pressure coupled with an image of victim hood and associated sympathy played to perfection....

Now you must be eager to know what are the outcomes... Well ladies and gentleman, we regret to inform you that the inevitable happened... The epitome of grace, patience and steadfastness finally succumbed to the pressure and took the bait.... 

So one fine day, lo and behold! many young lovers heart were shattered beyond recognition, as they saw their lady of fantasy going past them slowly on an age old TVS Avanti (for those who are unaware, TVS Avanti has been discarded after independence and has been declared a national treasure to be preserved in the museum for its 'impeccable speed and pick up") with our hero...

 What followed was a passionate love affair quickly culminating in what most young rebel from my era did... A court marriage... So while the affair continued, behind closed doors and suppressed whispers, news were exchanged of how the marriage has indeed happened and how so and so has seen the marriage certificates etc...

 At the end we can just conclude by saying that fate does strange thing to people and even now when poeple say that so and so and such and such thing may never be possible, I prefer to take it with a pinch of salt...

Circa 2012: 

The epilogue to the story is as follows:

Mamta's family could never accept her and she and the hero settled down in the city to what was a life full of hardship. Though I have never seen Mamta after our college days, from what I have heard she's become a pale ghost of what she was in the past... With hubby dear being chucked out of P.G after umpteenth failure to clear the 1st year, she is the sole bread winner of the family which now has a little daughter as the new member... Fortunately for Mamta, she just got a P.G and is continuing her education...

The Cyborg Countdown

There are some actors (yes and that includes both actors and actresses) who age, and there are those who age gracefully and there are those who become a Cyborg... By definition a cyborg is one who has the best of human and a machine.. How else do you explain the literally 'freeze in time appearance' of many of our actors even though their arrival seemed to have preceded the Big Bang Theory...

So ladies and gentleman, here is presenting you the enviable list (in ascending order) of actors who seemed to have attained the distinction of Cyborg' hood...

10. Dev Anand:

While not wanting to be too harsh on the 'ever green actor' of India (especially after his death); one can not be aghast at what the man showed off at the age of 88. While mainstream journalism limited itself in dealing grace with grace, the comments in the audience was anything but encouraging.. Terming him as a caricature of a shrimp  who still wants to dress up as a teenybopper and romance young girls". While Dev Sahib could have laughed his head off at such comparison (seriously taking it as a big joke while being totally unaware that the joke is on him!), the fact remains is that we are the real butt of the joke having seen umpteenth of his flops during the era of the Doordarshan (Censor, Sau Crore, Charge Sheet et al et al)... Given the respect which we have him for his earlier 'saner' movies, we place him at number 10...

9. Shekhar Suman:

Having successfully dabbled his hand in Comedy (Great Indian Laughter challenge, Comedy Circus, Comedy ka maha Muqabala etc) , Shekhar Suman decided that he wanted to the epicentre of all jokes... Off he went 'six packing' for a debut album called "Kuch Khwaab Aise" in 2009 (I bet you heard about it.. Come on lets give him some hope)  where his deep cleavage on display was threatening to move attention away from Rakhi Sawant... At one point of time, rumour had it that his well developed physique and new dhanssoo personality was threatening son Adhyayan's love life too!... Be that is as it may, the fact remained that he sure caused some flutters with his new cyborg look not so long ago...A talented actor who debuted with none other than Rekha (another celbrity cyborg on our list), he has ultimately earned his tag  being Cyborg no. 9 in our list

8. Sachin:

See, now you got me all wrong... What is it with our obsession with a man of 165 cm in height wielding a willow and bashing leather all around the park.. I am talking about Sachin Pilgaonkar.. The baby faced actor from the movie "Geet Gata Chal" (trust me, he still is a baby faced  boy/man/cyborg)...Having got his first Fimfare Award from the 1st President of India, he sure stands the Chance of becoming the number one cyborg in our list... However, though he has managed to maintain his 'eternal smile' in a  'death-do-us-part' manner, he has not caused enough flutters to climb up the list... Understanding that little awaits him at Bollywood, he made an early detour to television back in the 90s itself with wife Supriya.. Seen now in non descript Marathi movies and Hindi sitcoms; Sachin ensures he stays visible enough for people not to forget him by signing up for reality show which has non other than Anu Malik and Alisha Chinnai as judges... Well, that says it all and we'll stop here... The no. 8 award goes to Sachin...

7. Anil Kapoor:

This Jhakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas actor refuses to fade off.. If Bollywood does not give him the chance then he flies off to Hollywood to have a minuscule of a role in the latest Tom Cruise starer.. Never mind if his entire appearance, in the movie, ahem, to say anything but embarrassing trying to seduce the leading lady by showing her paintings from the Kamasutra  and getting slapped/ hauled over by her... That's sooooooooo like our our verrrrrrrrry nuaghty Biddu  Anil Jhakaaaaaaaaaaaas Kapoor... However, there is something that we have to give it to him.. he is a fighter and would come through, hairy body not withstanding, any stiff competition... last heard was World Wild Life Federation issuing a red alert for preserving otters using his bare chested photo...

6. Jitendra:

Jitendra, gacch (tree in English) ka bandar... that's how I was introduced to the great iconic actor in my child hood... Jitendra in the 80s had become somewhat like the old man's Viagra with his reassuring advertisement of 30 plus capsule for ... u know what...

In an era bereft of Sunny Leone, Rakhi Sawant, the Desi babas and babys, Jitendra was what the world will term as India's kamasutra albeit the modern version.. Dancing gleefully with buxom maiden from South, he was the Indian equivalent of Aphrodite... Even now his boyish look and grin gives son Tushar a run for his money... Always wondered how this wonderful man could have created something as aghast as his daughter and her daily soaps...

5. Dimple Kapadia:

Watching Dimple Kapadia gyrate and do the ooh and aahs in wet silk sarees and preying on the likes of Anil Kapoor, Sunny Deol, Jackie da and other youngsters (the last that was heard was she was planning to do a movie opposite a new hero debuting in Bollywood) one can not but help feel a tinge of sadness for her..Was it because of the sudden separation between her and the Dada of Bollywood which threw her in the arm of unsuspecting males like Anil kapoor in Jaan baaz (the glee on his face was something to be seen in the movie) and other such forgetful fares...Sometimes one wonders what kept pushing her to do young and younger roles when her daughters had started doning the role of heroines themselves.. Seen now a days at page 3 parties and playing fewer and fewer roles in  bollywood movies; she portrays to us the image of a cyborg of high order if not the highest..

4. Rishi Kapoor:

When you mention Dimple, can Rishi Kapoor be far behind ! A fine actor and a seasoned man of the trade; the only failing in his career was that somehow he did not realise how the years have zoomed past by and adipose tissue have generously started ensconcing themselves in and around the abdominal muscles.. Oblivious literally to things around, Chintuji danced away with young lasses almost his daughter's age in exotic locations... In an era which did not have a superstar (AB was away for a long time and had just made a disastrous comeback and the Khans were still a non descript entity) producers lined up at Chintuji's door with film offers.. Chintuji also did not disappoint them.. Donning his sweaters to further ensconce the adiposes (what else did you think he was wearing it for .. cold... nah) Chintuji danced away as if there was no tomorrow... Then suddenly came the rude shock ... it was as if somebody rudely awakens you with a shove from what happened to be a nice afternoon slumber... niece Karishma was ready for the camera and reluctantly Chintuji had to say good bye to what has otherwise been a glorious career.. here is saluting the man who had a never dying spirit.. age and adipose not withstanding...

3. Mithun Da:

To say something amiss to god himself is a task so arduous that it is bound to fail even before it started... Mithun da epitomised my era which was literally getting a kick with the raw and energy filled pelvic thrust of the god of disco.. While the west was busy going ga ga over Elvis, Michael Jackson et al; our own man in golden chain (who else but Bappi da) was busy getting 'inspired' by those tunes.. and what is more important.. the god himself danced to those tunes.. With the song, dance, soliloquy, monologue and dialogue sequence in Disco Dancer (bet you would not get so much combination from songs of any genre world wide)  Mithun da bought the hearts and minds of an entire genration and kept them captivated even for his lesser versions decades laeter with  Hitler, Jallad, Cheetah,Mawali No.1 etc

The greatest mistake that god did was to launch his holy son Mimoh.. Mimoh has done more damage to Mithun's career than he ever has done to himself with years of B grdae movie. Everything said and done, the man is a miracle in himself and choose now a days to give limited darashan by acting as the gurkha in Dance India dance (for his oft repeated grand salute ).  We however congratulate him getting the no. 3 spot in our countdown. a befitting Grand salute to god himself....

2. Rekha:

You ask Rekha her age and the chances are she will roll over her eyes, blink and look at you as if you are an alien from another planet and then give you one of her benevolent dismissive smile. The secret is that she herself does not know what her age is.. What the heck is all about age when Botox is helping break barriers of age, gender and identity... 

The 'agelessness' that follows Rekha (like Sidharth Mallya following Deepika) has to do with her decision not to even age for one day after the Great Split from the Big one of the film industry.. This also marked her role in more 'meaty' role (like Dimple kapadia) in KamaSutra, Khiladiyon ka Khiladi, Aastha etc.

 Rekha is also afflicted with the 'Dev Anand Syndrome' where a hypocritical audience and a dishonest press places you in an Utopian world where you are made to believe that you are beautiful, graceful and charming while reality reflects just the opposite. Though thankfully such time has not come fully for Rekha, but has helped propel herself to almost the top of our countdown at no. 2. Mubarakan...

1. Simi Gerewal:

Lets repeat the question that we had put to Rekha in the above section to Simi Grewal. chances are that she will not even notice that somebody even talked to her. The reason is two fold- the amount of Botox in her face has literally paralysed her facial and eye muscle to caste that look on you (from wherever the hell you are standing while asking that question) and secondly you would be simply invisible to her (the optical industry has almost given up years ago manufacturing power lenses that can match up to the failing vision of Simi).

The reason why Simi takes the cake is coz we have seen her since our childhood; from her movies through "India's Rajiv" to the umpteen talk shows and now her latest "India's most Desirable"; yet somehow she has fascinatingly (or should we say horrifyingly) stayed the same through the last few decades. We have heard air brushes and make up do wonderful thing to human face. In this case we are just left wondering whether the same are from the construction industry...

Seeing her on t.v, one but wonders if it is not a preserved version of a mummy from Egypt... be that as it may, let us all join hands to congratulate Simi Gerewal for such a stupednous success (she has very little to write home otherwise as regards her film career) competing with such deserving cyborgs. May her 'Cyborg' ness enhance day by day as we see the import and sale of Botox in India sky rocket. Amen...

We the Insensitive

There was seething anger all around... Tempers were flying around... Sense of utter hopelessness and dejection giving vent to sheer frustration at the failure and futility of the system abounded... In short there was palpable tension among the people...

Here if I do nt give you a clue you are apt to run away with the impression of a write up of about yet another " Main Anna Hoon" rally and its associated hullabaloo . The scene was not really a lift up of India Against Corruption Campaign but was from the Studio of NDTV where Barkha Dutt was having a public forum to debate on the dastardly murder of Keenan Santos, Reuben Fernandes on 20th Oct, 2011 in a very populated area of India's financial capital and the heartthrob of many - Mumbai meri Jaan...

The story in short is as follows:

"On 20 October 2011 Keenan Santos, Reuben Fernandes and a group of their friends, who were standing outside Amboli Kitchen and Bar, in Mumbai, were assaulted by a mob. The assault was in retaliation to an altercation between Reuben & Keenan’s friends and a member of the mob, who was drunk and had fallen over one of the girls in the group. In the fight that followed, Keenan Santos was killed and Reuben Fernandes succumbed to his injuries 13 days later at a hospital in Mumbai"...

The rest of the story told in media time and again and discussed widely unfolded in the studio.. Keenan and Santos were murdered brutally in front of around 40 people who chose to be silent spectators and bystanders to the whole gory spectacle...

Is this the modern India we are living in..

Can life be worse under, lets say, some syphilitic dictator in Sub Saharan Africa..

Is it the same India which boasts of its rich human capital.. Human capital for what... Using your education and learning for earning a miserable livelihood.. Whatever happened to values, ethics, standing up against injustice and respect for human life which comes naturally with education...

In the show the father of Keenan was called who said that he is proud of what he's son had done and had no regret. Some of the panelist and audience commented that in such a situation one should always weigh the option and if the battle is 'unwinable' then it is better to quit.

To this the valiant father had the following reply " I understand that my son and his friend could have quitted and left from the scene...and that would have been the end of the matter which otherwise resulted in such a costly price... But just imagine, these goons would have got encouraged further and this would have led to a shift in attitude slowly of Mumbai which prides itself on its non partisan and gender friendly culture"...

Heavy and idealistic word... eh... And that too coming from the father of a son who lost his life barely few days ago.. 

I think as a society we have become so apathetic and 'comfortably numb' and "if- the -incidence- does -not- affect- me- I -really -am -not -bothered -with -whatever -the -hell -happens- to- others" attitude is one day going to land us God knows where.

Each era and generation has stood for something worthwhile and path breaking for which the coming generation remembers them proudly... For India the pre independence era marked zealous and patriotic Indian sacrificing their life for what they believe would be a free and progressive India. The period from Independence to the 70s was marked with people who dedicated worked as one for nation building through technology, industrialisation and education. Late 70s saw our parents' generation stood up against the tyranny of emergency and the threat to the very edifice of our independence and freedom. The 80s saw the path breaking revolution in the form of 'Green Revolution', 'White Revolution' and making India the super power... The 90s saw Economic liberalisation the fruits of which all of us reaped. But come 2000 and the subsequent decade, when it came for our generation to give back something it was totally found wanting. Have we grown so selfish, self centred and self obsessed that we do not see anything beyond 'me, mine and myself'... Only when tragedy strikes us that we roll our eyes in exclamation, carry out our candle marches and cry ourselves hoarse  of ' mein Anna hoon'.. That is as much as we can do... What do you say.. Symbolism.. Think whatever you have to.. We care the least.. In the same way we do to numbers of injustices, violations and gross misuse of powers in our state, city and neighbourhood each day..

Till such time that we are physically subjugated and colonised like the Bristish did, we shall be happy and continue to be carefree, easy going, mall visiting, multiplex viewing and India shinning aam aadmi...

As for the murder, I feel sorry.. But itnin herogiri karne ki kya zaroorrat thi... g/f ko impress kar rahein honge.. ab gaye na kaam se... on another front bro tell me one thing which I even shudder to think... how so many people just stood there... Really brave of them.. For me I would have run away from so much  gore and blood... 

And do nt worry, now that you have told us the story, we will create a facebook page and do some 'viral marekting' of the issue on Twitter.. And yes.. we shall take out a candle march also... See dats d most I can do.. For a no good couch potato who is 24x7 glude to his computer/T.V set this is the most I can do...

 In the meanwhile the words of Keenan's father reverberates asking for answer on why his young son was killed in cold blood for something that was right and was the most logical thing to do...

Just Let it Go!

Often times I have wondered what is it that keeps people rooted in their past refusing to let go.. To let go of feeling of hurt and emotions of a bygone era... It is as if they are letting their past dictate their present as well as future...The one word which I often visualise in such case is "ruminate".. The word is most appropriate for the exercise it undertakes...

While we lose ourselves in such 'rumination', we close eyes to the world of infinite possibility that is waiting to unfold itself if only we allow it to happen...We close eye to the infinite possibility which is within ourselves waiting to manifest itself.. we also deny the blossoming of the great possibility which our near and dear ones have if only we would cast an appreciative glance or turn a 'listening' ears to them... In a single word put, and forgive my linguistic,  'we choose to screw our lives as well as the lives of others who are linked to us by love or fate"...

Here I undertake what I would recommend others to also do as an exercise and analyse (as far as the 'wound' or the thought of the person and/or circumstances which apparently caused those wounds):

1. What was it that was taken from me from such an action?... Nothing... 
2. What does the person causing such hurt means to me?.. Nothing.. 
3. What do I mean to the person in his/her scheme of things?...Nothing..
4. How is this event going to change the course of my life?..In no ways...
5. Do the person who has caused me such hurt ever thinks for even the millionth fraction of time as compared to how much time I spend 'ruminating' about him/her?... Hardly ever...
6. Do I need to put my my entire being in all my relationship and activities in my life now that I have been through this 'hell'... By all means
7. Does the incident/event in any way shows me to be inadequate/ill equipped or plain stupid.. In noways
8. If given a chance would I try to avenge for the treatment I got...Never...
9. Would I let my past, the act of some moron, affect the way my life will be shaped hereafter.. Never
10. Should I make use of the lessons I have learnt from my experience to better my life from henceforth and use it to become a better person... By all means...

I strongly believe in the fact that nobody has the power to make you feel small or belittle you until and unless you yourself allow it to happen. A valuable lesson that I learn early in life is the axiom 'its all in the mind stupid' stands true to this day... Thinking ourselves small and feel belittled due to the frustration and hatred of a given man is no excuse to dishonour the gift that we have within ourselves..

On the other hand the behaviour/attitude of the person who have 'hurt' you or caused you to feel small; should invite pity and sympathy from you. We should really sympathise and try to understand the dissatisfaction, hatred and negative energy which a person has got bottled up inside to such an extent that the same oozes out as hate, derision and frustration at others... This by no mean is a reflection of who you are, what you are capable of and how your life will shape in days to come...

I have strongly come to believe that it is possible to bounce back from  such phases if we have strong believe in our abilities and faith on our own goodness which will help us go higher in life and become a better person.

So friends, live in the present... live in the now... look at the bright futures which beacons to you with open arms and always remind yourself that " if not here then where and if not now then when, if not you then  who...."

And in the meanwhile Just Let it Go...

Jagjit Singh remembered...

Growing up as a teenager in the 90's came with its own challenges... With crazy hairdo (remember Sanju baba et al in Saajan?), baggies pant (Aamir Khan in Joh Jeeta...) and crazy Hawaiian colourful shirts ( a la Govinda style); it was difficult to explain "main aisa kyon hun??" and why someone is unable to comply with such a 'jhakaaas' fashion statement..

On the music front also any song worth its salt was in 'Jhankaar beats' or -else- face- the 'music'-from-the audience kind of a predicament.... 

During such an era, being a teenager and trying to find 'sanity' in doing something 'normal' was definitely a tall order... During such a tumultuous time I was introduced to the world of Gazals and Jagjit Singh... It happened quite unbeknownst to me... It was a birthday of a classmate and we were debating on the gift to be given to him when somebody hit upon the idea of gifting him a cassette of Jagjit Singh's gazal... I remember hearing the deep and melodious voice of the maestro ringing out in the small music shop as the shopkeeper test run it for us post purchase.. Hearing Jagjit singh for me was like being transported to an altogether different world... That was the day when I really fell in love with the man and his music...

Growing up was so much fun with the soothing gazals of Jagjit Singh and hearing him sing I felt as if eleveted to a spiritual plain... His voice, the melody, the sher-o-shayari and the intermittent mix of his own witticism was what made his gazals as soemthign to die for... The man had a deep understanding of the couplets and the complex urdu/persian shayari of masters like Ghalib and Mir.... While in bewteen a gazal, he will pause and translate the complex part with simple translation and then too mix it up with his own brand of humour!

For me the high point of his career was when he sang for the telly series on Mirza Ghalib... As I listened spell bound to one maestro's rendition of another master... Jagjit Singh cast a spell on all of us by immortalising the verses of Mirza ghalib starting from "Aah ko chaahie ek umr asar hone tak, Hazaron Khwaise aisi, woh firaaq aur woh visaal kahan, ...." as we were transporetd to an era unbeknowest to us.. To the by lanes of Purani Dilli  where a pauper lived and died but who left a rich legacy of verses and poetry...Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib has never been the topic of as much discussion and debate or made as famous as after Jagjit Singh's immortal rendition of him...

I had the good privilege to listen to him live in Chennai around 2006-07.... All of us poured in almost late by half an hour and as we settled down still there was a large crowd flowing which did so till the 1st 1 hour... But not a single soul stirred in the hall as they sat spell bound to the magic spell caste by the maestro himself as he dished out a veritable fare of delectable gazals from his rich repertory and kept the audience mesmerised... It was almost 3 hours in to the show and we had lost track of time and space as Jagjit Singh's rich and sonorous voice floated around and up the auditorium... His final rendition of " Kal Chauduvi ki raat thi" brohgt the entire house down as everybody were on their fit clapping as the maestro smiled mischievously and encouraged them to clap on...

Jagjit Singh's death is a great loss to good and uncompromising music. Jagjit belonged to an era which believed in creating music and singing as if you are one with the Creator Himself and also acted as a mean for connecting Him with the audience... As an artist he believed in giving his all to the work that he did and that was to bring solace and act as a balm to strife stricken hearts..

As he so aptly sang the couplet by Ghalib:

"rago.n me.n dau.Date phirane ke ham nahii.n qaayal
jab aa.Nkh hii se na Tapakaa to phir lahuu kyaa hai?"

(We do not believe in only running through the veins,
When it does not drip through the eye, then is it blood at all?)

 So was also practiced by the maestro who believed in giving his all in enthralling and transporting his audience on a journey of ecstasy and spirituality.

 

R.I.P Malini Murmu...

This morning I switched on my laptop and as expected the default yahoo page popped up... What I was not prepared to face was the news it carried "Snubbed on FB, IIM student kills herself".. 

When I read on, what I found out that Malini Murmu, a 23 years old young engineer from KIIT, Bhubaneswar who had made it big in life by cracking the IIM and was in her 1st year at the prestigious B-School.. Recently her boyfriend broke up with her after some disagreement and posted the status on his Facebook account which said “Feeling super cool today. Dumped my new ex-girlfriend. Happy independence day.”...

Disturbed and embarrassed by the status message, Malini did the unthinkable and committed suicide.. 

What disturbed me was not how so little is taught in terms of emotional coping in our so called hallowed educational institutes of learning nor the fact that she was a budding talent who could have made her mark in the world and would have gone on to be a force to reckon with in the future...

What really disturbed me and moved me emotionally was what her parents must be going through... I can well imagine... being the father of a cute 9 months old daughter... I can well imagine... I can well imagine what it is to see the delight of your heart, your princess grow up to be a super achiever one day and suddenly everything coming to a grinding halt one day just because some stupid asshole said something (which does not even register in his thick demented brain as something even closely offensive) and phew.... just like that the fruit of your labour, the centre of your universe and the object of your living deciding to end it all.. your life slips out of the finger gaps like sand... bursts like a soap bubble.. while you watch...watch feeling so powerless and vulnerable...

It gives me sleepless nights thinking of how am I ever going to mange and ensure that my daughter is equipped with the necessary coping mechanism to cope in such situation... How would I ever tell her that she is so precious to us that no matter what other think or write about her it is not going to make an iota of a difference ever to what she means to us... How can I be too sure that she is really ready to take up her stand and manage her world... Will she ever be up to the task.. Will she ever manage the emotional roller coaster we call life...Will she ever be ready... Will I ever be ready...

I am sure such would have been the fear and apprehension that Malini's parent must have had when she came to this world... Indeed,such is the fear and apprehension that each parent undergo who has when blessed with their little one...

Is it not time enough for us to stand up and say that enough voyeurism and exhibitionism on social network site... Was social network supposed to bring people closer and make the global community to 'coalesce' on the same page or drive them to despair and killing them...

While such debbates will rage on for next couple of days on news media, in the intellectual circles and numerous candle march which would be carried out wishing Malini's soul peace, I will again go back to the gloomy corner and scare myself beyond imagination as I ruminate on the future of our children in such a heartless world...

What Independence means to me...

The largest  democracy in the world is gearing up for its 64th Independence Day... The time has come for the nation to again stand together, recall and reaffirm its Tryst with its Destiny ( to paraphrase the words of the great leader )...

Each Independence Day is yet another special day evoking a multitude of emotions ranging from pride, happiness, patriotism etc etc which if summed up together, could be referred to as the unique feeling of Indianness...

Come this Independence Day, I will definitely stand up proudly to sing the national anthem, participate in the festivities and just have yet another nostalgic trip down the memory lane of how our freedom fighters sacrificed everything for the independence of the country... Yet I will do one more thing...

I will devote this time to think and deeply ponder on this question : "What Independence/Freedom means to me"

For me Independence means the following (to cut directly to the chase as they say..)

1. Independence to me mean the freedom to move about freely any place that I want to be without the fear of getting myself blown to shreds coz someone somewhere have not done their homework correctly and lacks 'proper intelignece'
2. Independence to me mean that I could migrate to any place in my country without the fear of getting bashed (for being a U.P wallah, or a Bihari or a Gujarati or somebody from the Northeast ) by somebody who, though claims, but is not a 'Manush' after all
3. Independence to me mean the respect for everybody without being branded as a result of one's ethnicity, gender, profession, caste and religion
4. Independence to me mean that my parents could have their full pension delivered to them immediately after their retirement without having to run around govt. offices at this ripe age greasing the palms of beetle spitting clerks
5. Independence to me is when girls and women can roam freely (yes, even in night) and enjoy themselves wholeheartedly without the fear of being picked up, raped and later face the apathy of the public administration in bringing the culprit to Justice
6. Freedom to me mean the freedom from hunger, where our children so driven by hunger no longer have to eat human excreta for survival
7. Freedom to me mean that our farmers (who are the backbones of our country) do not have to be driven to despair by an apathetic system and end up committing suicide
8. freedom to me mean the freedom from diseases, maternal deaths, the deaths of child and young born which is so preventable and avoidable at very little cost (I had read once that the worth of a society and civilisation is understood by how much consideration it has for its weaker section- which definitely includes the mother and the baby)
9. Freedom to me mean the end of domestic violence where wives are bashed up despite their valuable contribution and endless sacrifice for the brute who does it
10. Freedom to me mean that the guarantee of a basic standard of living for nearly half of the country's population and where growth is equitable (certainly as the country with the largest number of billionaires we can at least ensure this)
11. Freedom to me mean that we address terrorism face on and not get in to the politics of whether it is 'saffron' or 'green' terror while innocent die by hundreds 
12. Freedom to me mean the freedom of expression, the freedom to air my views openly and yet not be judged but be respected for it
13. Freedom to me mean is the openness with which with we embrace our brethren (be it the naxals of naxabari, or the maoist of north east, or the numerous 'indigenous' terror outfits)who because of some reason or the other are not too happy with us thus giving the message loud and clear to all divisive forces (both within and outside) concerned that we would solve all our problems within by talks and negotiations with our own people and they better keep their hands off
14. Lastly freedom to me mean that we live in a country where we do not stoop so low as to march a women naked in the street because of her low caste, or burn kids sleeping in a vehicle coz their father preaches a different religion, or drive out artists from the country coz of their differing view points... Freedom to me mean seeing my country as a prefect example of tolerance, empathy, understanding,proactiveness, of equitable growth and reaching out to those most in need...

 As time and again it is refreshed in our memory that the freedom that we have was gotten beacuse of the high and dear sacrifices maded by our ancestors under condtions of great difficulty against a mighty empire whose sun never used to set... Having got such a well earned and hard fought freedom. let us not fritter it away because of our petty differences, biases, prejudices and mostly coz of our apathy...

I would like to end the post by quoting the last letter of Shahid Bhagat Singh written just few days before he was hanged... I want all of us to reflect on it and decide for ourselves what we need to do at our end for taking our country to greater heights...

"Friends,

'Naturally I should have a wish to live. I do not want to hide it, but I can live on one condition. I do not want to live in prison or under slavery. My name is a symbol of 'Hindustan Inquilab Party'...

 

Today people are not aware of my weaknesses. If I would save my self from the hanging thread , it will come in front of the public and became well known. The glow of the Inquilab will not radiate nor may it will finish.

But if I will die laughingly, then in the case of my death, Indian mothers would wish to model their kids as a Bhagat Singh. This way the number of martyrs will increase to that level that it would be very difficult for evil

imperialistic powers to ignore it.

Yes, one idea always disturbs my heart. Whatever wishes I have for the country and humanity I was not able to fulfill the thousands part of it. If I would have lived then I would have got the chance to fulfill it. Apart from this I did not have any desire or lust to save myself from the hanging thread.

 

Who will be more fortunate than me? Today I am very proud of myself. Now I am desperately waiting for that moment.

 

Your Friend,

Bhagat Singh  

 

22 March 1931